Another New Start
by zashaxander
Summary: Johanna is a top lawyer, travelling all over the world, and bringing a teenage Kate with her. She's now working in London, and Kate is at boarding school in the English countryside (where the story is ALL set - don't be put off by...things.) But Kate isn't the only American at St James' Academy...
1. Chapter 1

_So here is my new story - I hope you like it. Please review, and keep reading. I'm thinking of adding to the twitter one too - what do you think? (Obviously, if I'm writing two, I'll update them slower.) Apologies for my slow updating and lack of writing in the last few weeks - I'm in first year studying English Lit and Film and TV at uni, and I have to study sometimes... Thanks so much for reading, love and hugs, Zanna xox_

Kate plugged in her iPhone, letting the music blare into her ears. Another new school, another new city, another new law firm. First it had been France – at least that had been hot, and there had been beaches. But England? Seriously? Who even wanted to be a lawyer in London?

And if that wasn't enough, she didn't even get to live there. No. She had to go to boarding school, in the countryside, and it had rained constantly since she had arrived two days before. She flopped back against the bed, and winced at the lumpy mattress. At least she got her own room.

She had tried to talk her Dad into letting her at least go to school in London – but there was no going against Johanna Beckett, not once she was set on something. It was what made her such a good lawyer. And although Kate loved her Mom, it was also what meant she wasn't particularly sad to be away from her parents.

She tried not to be so mad. But if she was going to boarding school anyway, she could even have stayed in France, with her friends, or New York, with her friends, or LA, with her friends. She turned up the volume of her iPhone, which had started playing the theme of Skyfall. Okay, Adele was a good thing to come out of England.

A loud bell rang, cutting through the walls, and making Kate shudder. Monday morning was bad enough, without bells to make you feel like you were in the army or something. She got off the bed and looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn't read the dress code – her mother had ordered the uniform provided by the school, but Kate was not giving in that easily. She had never worn any kind of uniform before, and it didn't make sense. There was a long black skirt that almost reached her knees, a white shirt, a tie(!), and a dark green cardigan. There was also a heavy, itchy blazer of the same green. Her Mom had even bought her chunky black flats to wear with it. They were still in her suitcase.

She had opted for black skinny jeans, a silky green sleeveless blouse, and maroon converse sneakers. It was kind of cold, so she put on her black leather jacket, and picked up her bag. She hadn't really known what to take – at her school in France, everyone had used a notebook computer, especially by the last few years of school. She was in what the English called lower 6th – she had two years left before college – if she decided to go to college. She'd packed a notepad and pencil case as well. She'd been there since Saturday – you'd think by Monday morning she would have found someone to ask – but she hadn't been talking to people much. They all seemed busy, or they were all in each others rooms. At meals, there were groups that sat together, like in any high school. Kate hadn't eaten after the first one – she'd brought some food with her, and she thought maybe it would be easier once she'd met some people in class.

She checked the timetable she'd been given. She had Math first thing. Maths. English people called it Maths. She wondered where the room was. The corridor was full of girls walking to class, talking and giggling. Kate was used to starting new schools. But she had always had a base, with her Dad to look out for, where she could escape if the first few days were rough. She followed the crowd into another corridor, where they were joined by a group of boys. At least they weren't giggling. It wasn't that Kate minded giggling, but it always seemed threatening when you didn't know what it was about.

She decided to just keep following the girls who looked about her age. The school building was a mixture of very old, and quite new and modern. They were going into the older part – the bedrooms seemed to be in the new bit. There were signs on the doors, and sure enough, they started to say 'Mathematics' followed by a number. She should be a detective. She found the number that matched up with her class, and went into the room. She didn't know if there were assigned seats – at least it was the start of the semester. The teacher was sitting at her desk, so Kate went straight over. She wasn't shy – though this was a common misconception. She just didn't like boring conversations.

The teacher was a middle aged woman. She didn't look unfriendly, but she didn't look soft either. She had neatly arranged grey hair, and wore a smart pant suit. When she saw Kate, she glanced down at a piece of paper in front of her.

"You must be Katherine."

"Yeah."

"Yes," the teacher said, putting emphasis on the 's'. Kate pretended not to understand.

"Yeah, that's me."

The teacher narrowed her eyes. "I am Miss Wilson. It's nice to meet you. You're new, so you may not know how things work here. I think I should explain some things to you after class. For now, take a seat anywhere." She handed Kate a Math textbook, and a squared notebook. Kate sat down, and got out her pencil case. She put her iPhone on silent – not that any of her friends would be able to text her here. Most of them would still be asleep too.

The class was pretty easy. They were starting an algebra topic, but Kate got the feeling that a place at St James' Academy was influenced more by money than by intellect. She also got the feeling that they'd put her in the dummy class.

When the bell rang – a sound which Kate hoped she would never have to get used to – Kate packed away her things and went to stand in front of Miss Wilson's desk. She had a feeling she knew what was coming.

"So, Katherine. How are you finding St James'?"

Kate was surprised, but wary. "It's okay, I guess. I only got here on Saturday."

"I see. Well, as I said before, you need to get used to some things. St James' has an excellent reputation, and if you stick to our rules, you won't find it hard to fit in. But I believe there is something to be desired in your attitude. Have you read the prospectus?"

"My Mom did. I didn't really have much to do with coming here."

"But you are here. You're sixteen, not a child. For example, why are you not wearing school uniform today?"

Kate didn't feel worried. She had known this would happen. She just hoped they would get sick of her as soon as possible.

"I never wore a uniform to school before. It felt weird. And I think it's ugly. I don't have a problem with wearing something if there's a good reason for it, like sneakers in sports, or protective clothing. But I don't see the point in wearing a school uniform."

Miss Wilson cleared her throat. "Your life here will not be governed simply by whether you see the point in doing things. I suggest you read over the prospectus tonight, and arrive in class tomorrow with a better attitude."

Kate sighed inwardly. She contemplated just saying 'no'. But she had learned from her mother that the key to success was a good argument, and being convincing. Annoying people and being rude didn't get you anywhere. Then again, her mother would have made her wear the uniform.

Miss Wilson continued. "I think it would be a good idea if you went to the headmaster's office now. He needs to give you an induction anyway, and show you around. He wanted you to have a chance to meet your classmates first."

She went on to give directions to his office. Kate followed them, and found herself in an old, panelled corridor. There was a door, with a bench beside it. Sitting outside the Principle's office on her first day – not a good start. Oh well. There was a guy on the bench too. He was cute. He wasn't wearing the uniform either – she liked him already.

"In trouble already?" He asked as she sat down beside him.

"You could say that. And you as well?" He was from New York! She'd know that accent anywhere.

"Yep. We don't seem to be representing the USA very well today."

Kate laughed. "I'm Kate – you have no idea how wonderful it is to meet you."

"Rick. And I feel just the same – it's like a little piece of home."

They smiled at each other, and Kate felt relief flow through her body – she had at least one friend here.


	2. Chapter 2

"**So, when did you arrive?" **Rick asked.

"Saturday. You?"

"The same. But I didn't see you at meals or anything – and I know I would have noticed you."

Kate felt her cheeks redden slightly. She let her wavy brown hair tumble round her face to hide her blush, and answered.

"I didn't go to them. I brought some food with me – and I wasn't that hungry for English food."

Rick smiled. "It's not that bad. You get used to it, and there's always some kind of choice. It's a shame you didn't go – I might have had someone to sit with if you had."

"I'm sorry. If I'd known you were there, I might have gone."

Kate loved the way he was looking at her. She'd had boyfriends before – but moving around so much had meant she hadn't had any long term relationships. This time it was different – her mother had signed a two year contract, partly because she wanted Kate to do her final exams when she was settled in one place.

Rick was looking at her like guys did when they wanted, badly, to ask you out. She wondered if he could tell from the way she looked at him that she was desperate for him to ask. She didn't know what it was – she'd only known him five minutes. He was nice, good looking, and seemed smart and funny. And he was from New York – she could be with him without feeling like an outsider. She looked at his face; his strong jaw; his baby blue eyes-

"Take a picture if you want – it'll last longer," he laughed. Kate cringed – he had caught her looking. But he didn't seem like he wanted her to be embarrassed.

"If you want me to," she answered coyly. She might be in a country far from home – but she needed to stop being such a coward. Rick winked at her – she felt her stomach do a backflip.

The door beside them opened, and a young-ish man came out into the corridor.

"You two must be Richard and Katherine. I'm Mr Johnson, the headmaster here. I'm glad you two seem to have started talking already – why don't you both come into my office?"

They got up and followed him into a beautifully decorated room, complete with leather covered chairs and a fireplace. Mr Johnson sat on one side of the desk, and they sat on the other. Kate sat up straight – contrasting with Rick, who slumped against his chair, drumming his fingers on the side of it. When he saw her looking, he winked at her again.

Mr Johnson turned out to be quite friendly – he said they should wear the uniform, to help them fit in, but he found some weekend activities that they were interested in, to help them meet people. Kate agreed to go to the dance club, which met some afternoons as well. Rick was more reluctant to join anything, but he eventually admitted he liked to go running, and they both liked music and film. Their headmaster thought it would be a good idea to get them back in class, so after a quick tour of the building, he sent them back to their rooms to get changed, and said he wanted them in class after the morning break.

"That actually wasn't so bad," Kate said to Rick as they were walking to the common room. Rick looked at her sideways.

"I should have known you'd be into all that extra curricular stuff. More school – seriously? I mean, he seemed okay, but look at us. We're in the school uniform, in the geeky clubs. Proper goodie-goodies already."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "Dance isn't geeky. And I'm pretty sure I'm stuck here for the next two years – I don't like the uniform, but I don't want to be an outsider."

Rick realised he'd been a bit judgemental. But he didn't want to back down right away. He thought she was right – but he wasn't ready to be so adaptable, and he didn't want to agree to fit in so soon. Fitting in hadn't ever worked out for him so well, anyway. He preferred writing, or being cheeky – or running, but not in a club.

"No, it's not. I'm sorry – it's your call, Kate." He smiled at her, and she stopped looking mad, so he figured they'd be okay. That would've been smart – losing the only friend he'd managed to make in his first three days after just half an hour. He was still a bit worried, if he was honest with himself. It wouldn't take her long to make friends with some of the girls here, if she wanted to. And some of the guys – she looked amazing, even in the hideous school uniform.

"What do you have after the break?" she asked.

He checked his timetable. He had English. This would be good – they'd be studying some book he'd have read years ago, reading far too much into every sentence... He wasn't a published writer, yet, but he felt the pain of being second guessed all the same. Kate had English too – they were in the same class. They were both in Modern Studies as well, and she had Psychology while he had History. Then after Lunch they had 'free' – for studying, Mr Johnson had said, but they didn't have anything to study yet. The curfew for their year was 10pm – they were allowed out when they wanted before that as long as they signed out.

It didn't take too long for lunch to arrive – Kate even got talking to a girl in psychology – Lauren. She was invited to sit with Lauren's gang at lunch, and she brought Rick along too. The food wasn't as bad as she'd expected – English people knew how to make a pretty good Cesear salad. She watched Rick – there were some guys in Lauren's group, but he wasn't really talking much. Mostly he was just watching her. She wished he'd try a little harder – it wasn't easy for her to smile along while they talked about some English TV show she'd never heard of, or looked completely blank when she said her favourite actress was Stana Katic. But she did it, because it would be worth it in the long run, and because they seemed like nice people.

Maybe Rick just wasn't forward thinking enough. Maybe he was too preoccupied. Kate felt a bit sorry for him. Being lonely sucked. When they were done eating, she made an excuse to Lauren, and signed out with Rick. The girls had told her there was a bus stop just down the road, and they managed to get into town without too much confusion. The winding country roads, and driving on the wrong side of them, made Kate feel pretty weird, but she chatted to Rick, which was fun. As soon as they were on their own, he became his outgoing, amusing self. She wondered why he'd changed before, but she didn't want to ask when she'd only known him for half a day.

The shops in the nearest town weren't bad. Rick bought her a coffee. English money looked so bizarre – all different shapes and sizes – and the bills were all different colours. He insisted on paying, and she let him because he looked like he was having a bad day, and thought maybe it would cheer him up to feel manly or something.

She sipped her grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla, and watched Rick stir yet another sweet 'n lo into his black americano.

"So, you seem to have made friends," he said with a fake smile.

"I'm doing my best. One of the girls in the group we sat with does dance as well – it'll be nice to at least know someone's name. It was Shannon – the redhead."

Rick pretended to look happy for her. He wanted to be happy. But deep down, he just felt jealous, and not just of the friends – he was also jealous of her, for having the ability to make them so quickly. Kate saw right through him.

"Don't be jealous Rick, it doesn't look good on you. You aren't so bad – Lauren thought you were really funny, when you did speak. They're more open minded than I thought they would be – you might be surprised if you got to know them."

"You're acting like you know them. Kate, you ate one meal with them."

"If you're going to be like that, I hardly know you any better."

Rick could have kicked himself. They were practically fighting. And he liked her so much.

"I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm sick of this. Sick of moving around, sick of new places. I haven't been in one place more than six months since I was seven!"

Kate had been getting ready to get mad at him, but all her anger evaporated. She put her hand on his without really thinking about it, and caught his eye sympathetically.

"I know the feeling. But it might be okay. My Mom says I should look at this like a chance for a new start."

"Another new start – I've had so many-"

Kate squeezed his hand. "I know. But there's no point moping about something we can't change. Try to look for the silver lining."

Rick smiled for real. "I don't have to look for it. She's sitting right in front of me, holding my hand."

Kate sighed, but smiled. "There are going to be way more good things here than just me. Give it a chance."

Rick grinned. "I'm not saying there won't be. But you'll be the best one."

_Thanks for reading, please continue doing so and please, please review with your thoughts. Love and hugs, Z xxx_


	3. Chapter 3

**Kate took her hand off his **and swatted him. They finished their coffee, talking and laughing, then decided to go to the park. The weather wasn't great, but it wasn't raining, so they went to explore. There was a cute little wood, and a damp soccer field. There was also a deserted play area, with a swing set. Kate grinned as soon as she saw it, and jumped on a swing. Rick laughed, and pushed her. After a bit, she told him to get out of the way. Still swinging, she pushed herself up so she was standing, then swung herself higher again, waited for the right time, and jumped off, doing a double forward flip before hitting the ground neatly and silently, catching all the speed in her knees.

Rick clapped enthusiastically. "You'll have to teach me how to do that," he laughed. Kate took a mock bow, and brushed herself down. They'd changed again after lunch, and she was relieved she hadn't gone for a skirt.

They were in the park a few more minutes before it started to rain. Kate started to run for shelter, but Rick didn't follow her. He lay down, and let the rain hit him. Kate watched him, and saw the tears mix with the raindrops on his face. She'd never seen a man cry before – and this was a man crying, not a boy. She knelt beside him, and held his hand, but he didn't seem to notice. She wondered what was wrong. She knew so little about him. Before she knew what she was doing, she bent down and kissed him gently on the lips.

Rick felt the rain start hitting him, and wished it could wash away his life. He lay down in the middle of the park, watching Kate run away from him, and could no longer control himself. He was going to lose her, he was going to lose everything. Again. There was no point trying to make friends – his mother would probably move on in a matter of weeks, and she would take him with her. But he'd already failed – don't get attached. That was the only rule. And he'd managed to break it on day three. Tears started pouring down his cheeks, and he was powerless to stop them. He felt her take his hand, on the ground beside him. He was sure she was thinking he was a freak – guys aren't supposed to cry. He didn't look at her, he didn't want her to see his face. He didn't want her to ask-

And suddenly she was kissing him. It wasn't a long kiss – it was a first kiss. She pulled away too soon – but it had been long enough to tell him that lying on the ground crying was no way to spend the short time he had with her. He sat up, and put his hands on either side of her face. The rain was getting harder, soaking them to the skin.

"Thank you," he whispered. Kate smiled and leaned in close.

"Always," she replied. She stood up and took his hand. He stood beside her, and they both looked up at the rain. After a while, Rick spoke.

"Sometimes it feels like it washes away the pain. But sometimes it just makes it worse."

Kate moved to stand in front of him. "I like the rain. When I was little and it rained, I'd put on my swimsuit and run outside. It made me feel connected or something, I don't know really. I don't know why you're so sad – but the rain always made me feel happy."

Rick smiled at her. "I'm sad because I've left so many places. And I know I'll have to leave this one too – but I don't want to leave it. I don't want to leave you."

Kate smiled. "You've known me for what, six hours? I'm flattered I can make such a good impression. And it sucks that you might have to leave. But live in the moment, Ricky!"

With that, she bent down and began untying her shoes. Once they were off, she took of her socks, jeans, jacket and shirt, so she was standing in front of him in just her underwear. It didn't even match – she kicked herself inwardly. "Catch me," she whispered, and ran off into the rain. Rick laughed, stripped down to his boxers, and ran after her.

He caught her in the middle of the soccer field, pulling her into a huge hug from behind. She giggled, and turned around so she was pressed against him. She ran her hands down his arms, and moved away, taking his hands and turning it into a kind of dance. He joined in, and began to hum a tune she didn't know, twirling her under his arm. She grinned.

"Want me to tell you a story?" he asked. Kate looked at him curiously.

"What kind of a story?"

He spun her around again so she was leaning on him, and whispered in her ear.

"It's a mystery. It's the novel I'm writing."

"You're writing a novel? That's so cool," she said. He led her back to where their clothes were, and they got dressed again, and ran through the town to find a place to eat that wouldn't mind if they were soaking wet. And Rick started telling his story.

It took them all the way through dinner – a giant pizza, and an ice cream sundae. Kate had another coffee. She loved Rick's story. She wondered where he'd gotten the ideas from, though. It was all very dark, full of pain and murder. And adventure, yeah, but why... It didn't really matter. She asked if he would let her read it – he looked ecstatic that she wanted to.

They got back to school at 9 – way before their curfew. Neither of them was sure how they had decided to do that. They were supposed to be in their dorms by 11, but they could do what they wanted until then.

"Let's find a place," Rick said. Kate knew what he meant. A place of their own.

They looked around the upper floors, and found a trap door. They got a chair and Rick lifted Kate so she could push it open. Once they were both up, they found themselves in an attic. They explored it – it was mostly full of rubbish. It had sloping walls, and there was a door in one of them. Kate went through, and reached the roof. She grinned, and took Rick by the hand, leading him out after her. From there, in the day you'd be able to see for miles across the countryside. In the moonlight, the fields looked pretty spooky, but in a beautiful way. And the stars... Kate lay down, and Rick lay beside her. They looked up at the night sky in silence.

"So," Rick said after a while, "Why did you move here?"

Kate sighed. "My Mom's a lawyer. She goes all over the world for work – and she takes me and my Dad with her. I've lived in loads of different places. What about you?"

Rick carried on looking at the sky for a moment. "My Mom's an actress. She goes all over the world for work – and she takes me with her. Not my Dad though – she left him behind when she moved on one time. I don't think I was even born yet. I've never met him. She says she isn't even sure who he is. But we seem pretty similar. I've lived in places all over the states, and also in Europe."

Kate had never met someone in a situation so much like her own before.

"Do you resent it?" she asked.

Rick thought about this. "Yeah, I suppose I do. But my Mom's a bit scatterbrained, you know? She needs me with her, to keep an eye on her."

"Why are you at boarding school then?"

"She doesn't exactly know she needs me. But she's in London – I can get to her quickly if something goes wrong. What about you – do you resent it?"

"Yes," Kate answered, without missing a beat. Rick waited for her to expand on it, but she didn't. Fair enough – it was personal. He got out his iPhone.

"Did you get an English sim card?"

"Yeah. I only have my parents as contacts, though."

They swapped numbers, then Rick got out his earphones. He gave her one, and put on Adele.

"You like Adele?" Kate asked, amazed.

"Sure. Do you know anyone with a brain who doesn't?"

Kate laughed, and nestled against Rick's shoulder. It was cold, and their clothes were still damp.

At one in the morning, they decided to go inside. Temperature was the determining factor. They made it to their rooms without getting caught. Rick texted Kate as soon as he was safe.

_**Made it back okay. You good?**_

She replied instantly.

_Define 'good'._

Rick laughed.

_**For the purposes of this conversation, in your room, not having been caught by corridor prowling teachers.**_

_Okay, I'm good. Cold tho. U tired?_

_**Not really. Still on US time.**_

_Same. Wish we didn't have school. Better try to get some sleep tho._

_**If you say so. I'd be up for just texting all night. Or, now that I'm wearing warm, dry clothes, coming to find you again.**_

_Good idea in theory, but we wouldn't be able to talk – too many neighbours._

_**Right. Hating the idea of class tomorrow. Night Kbex ;)**_

_Night Ricky boy xx_

He left it a few minutes, then texted again.

_**Are you asleep? I can't seem to get there. xx**_

_YES. And no x's for bad people who wake me up._

_**I don't believe you were sleeping. xxx**_

_Ye of little faith. I am in bed. But you got me. xxx_

_**Ooh, snap. I am going to sleep now though. Sweet, saucy dreams Kate. xxx**_

_Saucy dreams? If you say so, but they won't have you in them. Goodnight xxx_

_**Trying to make me jealous? (It's working)**_

_Not telling. You know Nathan Fillion? He's so hot, isn't he?_

_**No. Maybe. If you like that sort of thing :P Stana though...**_

_Now I'm jealous. If there was a woman that could turn me gay, she would be the one._

_**How did you make it so I'm jealous again? So cruel. You can't have both of them. Has to be one each...**_

_Okay, you can have Nathan, I want Stana for my BFF._

_**I thought I was your BFF? Now I'm truly hurt.**_

_Sorry, didn't mean it. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xx (:P)_

_**Ahahaha, got all these x's. Not giving any of them back.**_

_Cheater! Fine. But I really am going to sleep now. Night. Saucy Nathan dreams ;) xxx_

_**Sorry. Night. And I will enjoy those dreams :P xxx**_

**So (this is Zanna again) ****_I hope you liked it, please keep reading, and please review with your thoughts. Love and hugs xxx_**


	4. Chapter 4

Kate hoped she wasn't giving Rick the wrong idea. Sure, she liked him, and she wanted to make the most of the time she had with him. But she had only known him for a day, and she had to make a go of this new school – which she could tell wasn't in his game plan. If she was honest with herself, she had let it go too far – dancing around in her underwear with him? Seriously? She had just wanted to be crazy – but it had been selfish. She had led him on. She read back through the text messages, and knew he would read the wrong thing. She hoped he would be okay. She hoped they'd still be friends.

She buried her head in her strange smelling pillow, and wished life could be simple.

The next morning, she got up before she had to, and took a long shower. She got dressed in the uniform like she was supposed to, and went down to breakfast in the dining room. There was even maple bacon. She ate with Lauren and Shannon – they were talking about the dance club, and also giving her the heads up about teachers' habits and things to avoid. Soon she was smiling and giggling along with them – even if the smiling was fake, it would get easier. It always did.

Rick got to breakfast late, and saw Kate, looking like she was one of them already. He should have known. He collected some food, and sat at an empty table in the corner. She would be fine. Maybe she did like him – but if he sat with her, he would just be holding her back. His phone buzzed – it was a message from his mother.

_Hi Rick. Hope school good. Having to leave London – will be back next week. Love, Mother._

Rick slammed his fist on the table. She hadn't even told him where she was going.

"Hey, are you okay?"

He looked up, half expecting to see Kate, despite the English accent. It wasn't her. It was a pretty girl, with heavy eye make up and long black hair. She was a lot smaller than Kate, and not so... sophisticated looking. But sweet.

"Yeah. Or, I will be."

She seemed to take this as an invitation to sit with him. "That's good. I'm Maddie. They call me Mad Maddie. They think it's hilarious."

Rick smiled. "I'm just Rick. I'm new."

"Are you in lower 6th?"

Rick nodded. He was right at the old end of the year, almost eighteen. Kate was only sixteen – she must be a year ahead.

"Me too. Do you have English first?"

Rick nodded again. She seemed friendly. And an outsider – like he was always doomed to be.

Kate looked over at Rick, glad that he was making friends, but also a little jealous that he was already having such a private conversation with another girl. Especially since he didn't know what she'd been thinking last night. Lauren followed her eyes.

"Ew, is that Maddie sitting with the new guy? Don't you like him, Kate? She's such a bitch, trying to steal him. Don't worry though – she does it with everyone who starts here – she thinks that they'll be friends with her because they don't know her reputation. It hasn't worked yet, she still has no friends."

"Yeah," Shannon cut in, "I started at the beginning of fourth form, she tried to turn me into a goth like her. Luckily I had Lauren, or else I'd have been lonely and miserable for all my time here."

Kate felt uncomfortable. She knew schools were cliquey – they always were. Usually she'd managed to end up in an in-between group, with fairly normal, honest people. She got the feeling she'd ended up with a different type this time. Being Kate, she had to speak up.

"She's probably not that bad. And he's on his own – she wouldn't know if I like him. Which I don't, anyway. We're just friends."

Lauren looked surprised. "Oh, I thought... You just spent so much time with him yesterday. And you're both from New York, we just assumed you already knew each other, and that you were together."

"No. We just met yesterday, actually. I mean, he's really nice-"

"Oh yeah and so cute!" Lauren exclaimed. "If he's not taken, I mean." She flicked her hair over her shoulder, and batted her eyelids in Rick's direction. He noticed, and smiled weakly at her. She really wasn't his type.

Kate concentrated on her bacon. She had wanted him to make friends, but not like this. She imagined saying he was taken, saying he was hers. She couldn't. But she was discovering that she deeply disliked Lauren.

Their table was filling up. A guy appeared and introduced himself as Harry, before sitting beside Shannon and putting his arm around her. He was with a friend, Tom, who sat beside Kate, and smiled at her.

"How are you liking St James', Kate?"

Kate smiled back. "I don't know yet. It's alright."

Tom winked at her. "I can see we haven't made a great impression. But maybe we can bring you around – there's a social on Friday night. Let me take you – I can introduce you to everyone. There's no drinking, officially, but Will's older brother usually sorts us out with something. I mean, it's only a school thing, but they can be fun."

Kate thought about it. If she wanted to make friends, this was a perfect opportunity.

"Okay. That sounds like fun," she answered. Tom grinned at her.

"Great. I'll see you around then – Lauren'll keep you right, I'm sure," he added sarcastically. Kate was relieved – he seemed like one of the jocks, but he saw right through Lauren. He went to sit at another table, of people who seemed more like her type. She would try to sit with them at lunch. Lauren wouldn't mind – since she had heard that Rick was 'free', her interest in Kate had all but disappeared.

The week passed quickly. Kate made friends with some other girls, Tom's friends. The one she had gotten closest to was Alice, who took her into town after school on Thursday to buy something to wear to the social.

When they got back, Kate was exhausted. She'd spent three days making new friends, talking to new people, and repeating the condensed version of her life story at least fifty times. She was doing well in class – even Miss Wilson was warming to her. But she was so tired... She'd been having to think so much. She just wanted to go somewhere to relax.

The roof. She could go to the roof.

Rick was exhausted too. His mother still hadn't told him where she was – he had texted her a few times, and she had finally replied telling him not to worry, but he didn't even know if she was still in the county. He was doing okay in class – mostly he just watched Kate shine. He hadn't spoken to her much. He didn't know why. He knew she wanted to make friends, and she was doing great at it. He had been sitting with Maddie. He liked her, she was nice. But she wasn't...Well, she wasn't Kate. He thought maybe Kate was worried about things between them moving too quickly. He wished he could let her know that she was totally in charge – and if she would just be his friend, that would be more than enough.

He had started a new chapter in his novel, bringing in a beautiful, sassy, smart detective, with honey-brown hair and big brown eyes. He knew Kate was going to the social with Tom. He had asked Maddie, as a sort of thank you for her looking after him in his first week. He had been to running club. You didn't really have to talk while you were running. He had spoken a little to a couple of guys – Javi and Ryan. They had been in the gym when he'd come in from running. They both thought Kate was stunning, and they both noticed from Rick's face when they said so that he had a thing for her. They were like brothers, but they were happy to let Rick hang out with them. They were friends with Tom as well, so Rick usually ended up hanging out pretty near Kate. He wondered if she noticed.

On Thursday night, he just wanted to go somewhere peaceful. He was sick of stressing about his mother, and trying to make new friends. He was a funny, friendly guy, but he had given up on it. It all felt so fake – he would probably have moved on by Christmas.

He had climbed through the trapdoor before he'd totally decided where to go. When he got to the roof, Kate was already there. Wordlessly, he lay down beside her. She took his hand.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to get the wrong idea, but I haven't been fair to you,"

He smiled. He could wait. "That's okay. I understand."

"I still want us to be friends, though."

"Me too."

"I had a great time with you on Monday."

"Yeah," he laughed, "it was a much better first day than I thought it would be."

Kate laughed too. "You still know me better than any of these new people."

Rick grinned. "Even loverboy?"

Kate swatted him. "You mean Tom? He's not lover. He is a man though. And yeah, probably even him."

"Bet he hasn't seen you in your underwear," Rick teased.

"If he had, that would be more of a judgement on me than on him," Kate replied.

"I don't know. I was thinking of him as a stalker type."

Kate laughed again. Rick seemed totally relaxed, not bothered by her and Tom. Not really.

"Are you coming to the social?" she asked.

"Yeah – I'm bringing Maddie."

"Cool. She seems nice, although she doesn't talk much."

"Like me, then."

Kate smiled at the sky. Rick was smiling too, but it was more a smile of resignation. He would be okay. She would be his friend. He could handle that.

_Sorry to slow things down and change direction a little, but it was moving too fast, I agree with the review – this was always the plan though =P. For those who need Caskett together, don't worry, next chapter is the social, and there will be something. Please keep reading and reviewing. Love and hugs, Z xxx_


	5. Chapter 5

**Tom took Kate's hand and led her into the hall. **It had been decorated, and everyone in there was wearing fancy clothes. But once Kate was in the room, everything seemed plain and boring in comparison. She was wearing a silvery grey dress, made of a silky material that hugged her body, accentuating her perfect figure. It was low cut, and her long, straightened hair completed her sleek and shining look. The room was full of girls – but Tom had a woman beside him.

Rick saw her come in. He was dancing with Maddie, to the cheesy pop songs that were being played. Maddie looked good. But now Kate was in the room, she might as well have been invisible.

Tom brought Kate into his arms, and began to dance with her. She smiled at him – she liked being dressed up, and she loved to dance. She tried to ignore Rick's eyes boring into her back – he made her feel naked, exposed. She was sure he could tell she was thinking about him. Tom wasn't tall enough – in her heels, she was almost taller than him. Rick was taller, and stronger. She was attracted to Rick. She just thought Tom was nice. She tried to keep dancing.

After a few more songs, she excused herself to go get a drink. There was alcohol, the punch had been spiked. A lot. Kate could taste the vodka as she downed a huge glass, and poured herself another. She took it outside; she wanted to get some air. She was completely alone. She leaned against the wall, looking out at the school field. Her head was beginning to feel fuzzy, so much so that she didn't notice someone watching her.

Rick had left the hall because he wanted to get away from Maddie, and Alice. Everyone was being great – but he noticed that Kate wasn't in the room any more, so he didn't have any reason to be there either. He finished his third glass of punch, and feeling slightly unsteady on his feet, went outside to wake himself up a bit. It was dark, the only light was coming from the hall. There was a girl, silhouetted, leaning against the wall. The girl who made him catch his breath, every time he saw her. He walked over, the alcohol making him brave.

"Rick."

He smiled. "The English seem to know how to throw a pretty good party after all."

She nodded. It made her hair brush against her bare shoulders, and Rick longed to run his fingers through it.

Kate could feel him watching her, and she loved it. He was hypnotised. She walked towards him, but felt dizzy and almost fell – she would have done, but he was there to catch her. He was so warm, she loved being in his arms. She could smell the alcohol on his breath, and she knew he could smell it on hers too. She had dropped her glass, she didn't know when. She tilted her head up so his mouth was inches from hers, and he closed the gap, so they were breathing each other's air.

"I-" Kate stammered.

"What is it, Kate?" Rick whispered.

"I... I think I'm gonna be-" Kate's words were barely out of her mouth before she vomited, all over Rick's dress shirt, then fainted in his arms. Rick sighed. He should have known. He wasn't feeling so great himself. He lay her down carefully on the ground, then took off his stinking shirt. He left it on the ground, and picked Kate up again, carrying her upstairs to her room.

He lay her down on the bed, slid off her shoes, and covered her with a blanket. Then he took a wet cloth and wiped her face. He made sure she was on her side so she wouldn't choke if she was sick again, and put the waste basket at an easy distance from the bed. He made sure she was breathing fine, and when he was sure she was, he sat down on the floor. His head was spinning. He had to go.

He left her room and went black to his own, washing himself as best he could, and getting another shirt. He checked the time. It was after midnight. He was eighteen. He looked at himself in the mirror. It was hard to focus, but he was certain he looked like a wreck. He grabbed his wallet and passport, and climbed out of the window, down the drainpipe, and began walking into town. When he got back the next morning, he would be amazed that he'd managed it without falling to his death.

He didn't meet a single car on the road. He got to the 24 hour shop at about 2am, and bought a pack of cigarettes and a quarter bottle of vodka. He drank it straight. It was like paint stripper. He had to go back into the shop to buy a lighter, then he smoked the whole pack of cigarettes in one go. He could hardly stand. He had no idea how he was going to get back into school. He wondered if the party was still going on.

He somehow staggered through the main doorway and up to his room without anyone seeing him, and made it to the bed before he passed out into a deep sleep.

Kate woke up at noon, and her head was throbbing. She dragged herself out of bed, and just stood in the middle of the room in her now-crumpled dress, wondering what on earth had happened last night. She saw the waste basket by the bed, and her shoes neatly on the floor. Someone must have put her to bed. She didn't really remember anything after downing that glass of punch.

She took a long shower, and went to make herself a coffee in the common room. Halfway through the cup, it all came flooding back to her.

She had thrown up, all over Rick. She wished the floor would swallow her up – and there wasn't even anyone else in the room. She had been so drunk. She hoped he wouldn't be mad. And she had been about to kiss him. Which was doubly bad, since she'd been Tom's date at the social.

And it was Rick's birthday today. She remembered him telling her when they were on the roof – he was eighteen now. She'd have to ask him how it felt. Probably pretty bad, if he'd been anything like as drunk as she had. She got out her iPhone, and sent him a text.

_Thanks for looking after me last night. Sorry I was such a mess. xxx_

He replied straight away.

_**Always. I was pretty messed up too – and I only got worse after that. Want to go for a walk? xxx**_

_Sure. Let's walk into town. Meet you outside xxx_

Rick swallowed a couple of painkillers, and went to meet Kate at the door. She smiled when she saw him, and he grinned back. You had a certain bond with someone who'd thrown up on you. He took her hand. She was about to apologise.

"Don't worry about it," he said quickly, "and I didn't get a chance to say, but you looked beautiful last night."

Kate blushed. "Thanks. And happy birthday – you're a proper man now."

"I've always been a man," he replied, winking at her. "You want to walk into town?"

"Sure," she answered, and still holding hands, they started walking. Rick loved where he was at that moment. He didn't want anything to change. She might just be his friend – but right now, her hand was in his, and it made him feel whole. It belonged there.

He wondered what had gotten into him the night before. He had just felt so... So desperate. She had been about to kiss him. And it had been going to be a real kiss, a kiss that meant something. But fate had been in the way. And he had thought, maybe they weren't meant to be together, maybe he'd been wrong.

But with her beside him, her magical eyes glowing as she laughed at his jokes, he knew he was prepared to fight fate. Fate was nothing, it couldn't come between them. He was going to tell her, when they got into town. He would tell her it didn't matter, they didn't need to wait. She didn't need to keep him at a distance, they might be young, but there was nothing to stop them being together.

Kate talked to Rick with a smile on her face. And she knew that she'd been wrong – he wouldn't have got the wrong idea – because it was the right idea. He was great for her. And there was nothing that could stop them being together.

Neither of them saw the car, rolling along the winding country road. Neither of them felt it, either.

_Don't worry - this ain't goodbye. Please review. And sorry - I didn't see the car coming either, but when a story is in my head, there's no point trying to change it - I can't write half as well if I don't go with my gut. Love and hugs, Z xxx_


	6. Chapter 6

**Kate tentatively took her feet off the bed, **and put them on the floor. Slowly and carefully, she got up, reaching for the crutches beside her to support her broken leg. The bright blue cast stood out painfully against her white hospital gown. She made it to the bathroom – the few metres seemed like a marathon – and saw herself in the mirror. The cut on her head still looked awful, and there were shadows of bruises on her face. The scratches on her arms were healed. She lifted her gown. There was a long scar on her stomach – she had had internal bleeding, they'd had to operate to fix it. She'd been unconscious for three days. Her mother was taking her back to New York as soon as her cast was off and she could fly.

Martha started at her son, kept alive only by the machines that surrounded him. She blamed herself. She hadn't been there for him. She'd been jetting around the world. But now she would stay with him – she could stay in London. She had a job, an arty movie. And she would see Rick every day. As she looked at him, she realised her little boy had become a man without her even noticing. His eyes were closed – he looked so peaceful. He was almost smiling. Maybe he was dreaming about something good.

Kate got back into her bed. They'd said she needed to rest. There were some painkillers in a little paper cup on her night stand. She swallowed them, and closed her eyes. At least they made sleep come quickly – sleep took away the guilt.

_Another New Start – The Dream_

Kate danced alone in a nightclub, wearing a little silver dress, shining under the spotlight. She saw no one, and no one saw her. No one except Rick.

Rick walked straight through the night club, to the girl so stunning no one believed she was there. But she was. He took her in his arms, and she smiled at him like he was her favourite person in the world. He bent down, and for once, nothing went wrong.

Kate felt his lips coming towards hers, and her heart quickened. She closed her eyes, and brought her mouth to his. They were locked together, they gasped for air as they were drawn into a passionate kiss. Rick ran his hands through her hair, and she slid hers over his back. That was enough for him – he lifted her up, carried her outside, and threw her into a cab.

The cab drove quickly through the New York streets, carrying them back to their hotel. They held hands in the elevator, and once in their room, Rick put on the radio, took of his shirt, and beckoned Kate to him. She danced into his arms, and rested her head against his chest. She was so tired, and so in love.

She moved to kiss Rick again, and he undid the zipper of her dress. It slid to the floor, and she stepped out of her shoes. She undid his belt, and pulled it out of his pants. He got that zipper too, and they stood there in their underwear.

"Remember when it was raining..." Kate whispered. Rick smiled.

"I do. Feels like it was so long ago..."

"How long ago was it?" she asked, suddenly confused.

"Uhm... a week?"

_Wake up!_

Kate sat up in bed, shaking, covered in a cold sweat.

"Honey? Are you okay?"

Her eyes came into focus and she saw her mother.

"Sweetheart, did you have that dream again? Poor thing, it seems like all you do. Never mind honey, you have to wake up now, your cast's coming off today."

Kate barely registered the words, but she saw the doctor coming in. Once he had cut her cast off, and checked her scar had healed properly, he said she was free to go. Their flight was that afternoon – her Mom said they had to hurry. Dad already had their stuff, he was waiting at the airport. Kate finally managed to speak.

"What about Rick?" she asked, in a raspy, quiet voice she barely recognised.

Her mother looked at her blankly. "Who's Rick?"

Martha listened to the little beeps which punctuated all the time she spent with her son. She liked them, because they meant he was alive. She hoped he was there somewhere.

Kate sat in the cab on the way to the airport, tears pouring down her cheeks. She didn't even know if he was alive. They went through check in, and she hid her face from her parents. She hitched up her jeans – they'd gotten looser somehow. She caught sight of her full reflection, and she was just bones. She hated it. But she knew why – she just wasn't hungry, and she hadn't been eating. Anyway – why should she look good? She didn't have anyone to look good for.

The plane took off on schedule, taking Kate home.

Martha jumped. She frantically pressed the call button. She could have sworn she'd seen his eyes flicker.

"Rick? Rick, can you hear me?"

There it was again! He was waking up. She took his hand.

"Rick! I'm here baby, please, wake up. You're okay, you're here. Ricky?"

Rick opened his eyes. He tried to speak. The light was too bright. He could hear beeping, and lots of people. He tried again.

"What was that, Rick?"

He tried harder. Was it her?

"Kate?"

The voices seemed to drift further away.

"He said 'Kate'. Who's that?"

"Don't worry Ms Rodgers, often when people wake from a coma they are very disoriented – but his vitals look great, he's going to be fine. Just let him rest, he'll wake up again soon."

When Rick next opened his eyes, just his mother was there. He felt a lot less groggy. He tried to move his feet, and was pleasantly surprised that everything seemed in working order. His mother smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"Nice to see you, Ricky."

She was almost crying. It must have been close. Wow. He didn't remember anything.

"Kate! Mom, where's Kate?"

"Who's Kate?" she looked at him, with no idea what he was talking about.

"The... I was with her when... She's the last thing I remember."

"Oh, the girl you were with? I don't know – her parents were called, I think, and they were preoccupied with getting her the best private health treatment... I don't know really. I was worrying about you."

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know. I think you were both bashed up pretty bad – they didn't know if you would live, for a while." She began to cry. "Oh, Rick, I'm so glad you're okay. And we'll be going home, back to New York, just as soon as you're ready to fly."

Rick nodded wordlessly. But what about Kate? He couldn't stop thinking about her. She might not even be- No. He couldn't think that, it wasn't even a possibility. Somewhere, she was alive, he knew it! And one day, he would find her.

Kate sat on the plane, and felt a jolt inside. It hadn't been in the plane, it had been in her. She dried her eyes, and looked out of the window, at the clouds. That's what she'd thought heaven must look like. What if Rick was- No. She couldn't think that. He was fine. He was just fine. And one day, she would find him.

_Sorry, it's sad. But I think you'll like how they find each other - going to borrow from another of my fanfics... Please keep reading and reviewing, love and hugs, Z xxx_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Three Years Later**_

A girl is sitting on a bench, looking out at the sea. She can't be twenty, even, but she looks like she is suffering the pain of hundreds of years. She is wearing a black dress. A man is beside her, holding her hand. A woman walks towards them, also wearing black, and smiles. She takes the girls other hand, and they look at the water together. The girl is wishing she was alone.

It starts to rain. She wants to take off her black dress, and start dancing. She wants her parents to disappear. She thinks about the girl she was three years ago, and barely recognises herself. Maybe moving around was good. She wants a cigarette – she'll have to get Josh to buy her some. She thinks about Josh some more, and hates herself. Her long sleeves cover the marks on her arms, from needles and knives. Johanna Beckett stopped investigating the case, and saved herself andher daughter – but fate has a way of getting what it wants, anyway.

A boy sat at a beach, a few weeks after his twenty-first birthday. He was too drunk to know exactly where, somewhere in LA, with beautiful girls and expensive alcohol, not that it mattered because now he was rich. He was a best selling novelist. He tried everything. When you were rich and famous, doors opened that you didn't even know existed. He had tried drugs. They were good. He wanted a break – three years of guilt was enough.

Kate sat in her room, picking at the scratches on her arm. She'd have to go out tonight if she wanted a fix. She'd text Josh. It was too hot; she decided she didn't like California. They had flown back from the funeral, but she had preferred the rain. Grey skies matched the cruel, grey world. And they reminded her of the boy she had killed.

Rick rubbed his arm. The needle marks were very discrete. He just had to wear long sleeved shirts to signings. He would go to a club tonight, for some new faces. He liked meeting people, if he was in the right mood.

Josh picked Kate up at nine. He was the bouncer at some high end club, and would let her in before it got too busy. He put her in the more private section – she seemed rough – and pointed the guy out to her. Kate nodded quietly. Josh slipped some fake ID into her hand so she could buy a drink. Kate smiled and thanked him. He kissed her. She kissed back. Maybe this was just what kissing felt like – maybe the kiss she remembered with Rick was just in her imagination.

There weren't many people there. She went to get hooked up. Josh took her to the club for clean needles – they even had one of those little yellow bags for the dirty ones. Safe drugs. Kate almost laughed at this. Who cared if it was safe? She thought it might be interesting to die. It would be a get out, anyway. Guilt had a way of eating you up inside that made blood infections, even AIDS, seem kind of lame.

She sat down on a slidy leather couch, and let the man rub antiseptic lotion on her arm. There was another guy waiting, Kate didn't really register him. The needle slipped in, and it hurt for a moment, but then she felt nothing. She smiled, and her vision went blurry. She watched the other guy getting hooked up too. He seemed familiar somehow – but sometimes the high did that to you. She smiled, and he smiled back, drifting away as well. She wanted them to drift together, he made her feel at home.

"I'm Katie," she murmured, as he sat down beside her.

"Rick," he replied. "I'm famous."

Kate shuddered. "I used to know a boy called Rick. But he wasn't famous. I think he died."

Rick looked at her, trying to place her. He wished he was clean, so he could remember who she was.

"I think I know you..." he said slowly. "How did Rick die."

Kate's hands went cold and clammy at the thought. "We were holding hands. In the road. We got hit by something. I almost died too."

Rick stared at her. She stared back, and began to cry.

"Oh, no, now it's making you look like him. But you can't be-" she stammered, shaking.

Rick tried to focus. "I am. Kate, is that you?"

Kate nodded, blinking with drug addled eyes.

Rick put his arm around her, and let out a sigh he had been holding in since he woke up three years ago in that hospital in London.

"Then we are going to wait this out together. We'll go to sleep, and we'll wake up, and we'll never do this again. Okay?"

Kate nodded again, and leaned on his shoulder. She fitted there like she'd never been away.

_So, they've found each other... More soon I hope, kind of getting caught up in the old one now I decided not to end it, but fueled by tesco value orange juice and weetabix, I will go on. (those are British things, look them up =P) Please review, much love, Z xxx_


	8. Chapter 8

**_I've been writing too many things at once, and this one seems to be falling to the bottom of the heap - here is a slightly smaller chapter than usual, to end it on a better note for now. I do plan to write some more, but I'm doing so many things at the same time! Plus, trying to get good grades at uni so I get considered for a year exchange to the US :D. Thanks for reading, please review as always - depending on popularity, I can write more if you're desperate.. Lots of love and hugs, Z xxx_**

**She closed her eyes.**

_Kate ran across the dance studio, throwing herself into the dance, wishing it would swallow her up, wishing that after one of the jumps, instead of landing sure footed as she always did, she would smash into the floor, and never have to think again. She flew higher and higher, tears streaming down her cheeks. She could see herself in the huge mirror on the wall, but she barely recognised the girl. She ran towards this stranger, this alien creature, slamming her fists into the glass. It stayed smooth and strong. She moved back, tumbling to the music, feeling it ripple around her. And then she charged forward, letting go of everything but her passion, the fire that still burned inside in her heart. And she hurled herself into the girl who must be her enemy, and felt the world fall down around her in shards of silver._

She jolted awake.

"Rick?" she said, terrified.

"Yeah? You okay – oh, God, Kate, you look awful."

"I was dreaming. I was dreaming that I was dancing."

"I thought you liked dancing."

"I haven't danced since... Since I thought you were dead."

Rick put his arm around her and held her close. "You should dance again. I'll take you dancing."

Kate smiled. "This still feels like a dream. I'm afraid that any minute, I'm going to wake up, alone in this horrible place, and realise you were just a hallucination."

"That's not going to happen. Would you like me to pinch you to prove it?"

Kate laughed, but it almost turned into tears. "I've missed you so much. I barely even knew you – I didn't understand how I could miss someone I'd been with for so little time. But I did."

Rick kissed the top of her head. "I've missed you too. I thought about you every day. At first, I wanted to believe you were alive. I tried to find you, but New York is a big place. I didn't know where to start. And then... So much happened. I'm just glad we're together now."

"Me too."

The dealer came over, and told them they would have to leave. He told Kate he would see her again. She smiled, and told him no, he never would. Rick squeezed her hand.

"Brave girl."

"Not really. I only did it because I thought... Well. It doesn't matter. But now you're here – that's better than any high."

Rick smiled at her, and waved a cab for them. He told Kate to say her address, so she did.

"Is this just a sneaky way of finding out where I live?" she asked. She sounded almost like the girl Rick remembered, instead of the shadow of her former self that was sitting beside him.

"You got it," he answered, winking at her.

He walked her to the door, giving her his new cell number and taking hers.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he said, and for once, he actually meant it.

Kate smiled and nodded. She took a deep breath, and went in to face her parents. Her mother was sitting in the dining room, nursing a cup of coffee.

"Katherine, it's 4am. Where have you been?"

Johanna was almost crying. Kate wondered what to say. She decided that at least some of the truth would make the most sense.

"I was out. And then I found Rick."

"Who's Rick?"

Kate couldn't believe her mother didn't remember. She was almost angry.

"Rick is the reason for everything! He's the boy I was with in the accident, he's the boy I thought was dead because no one told me different! No one cared enough about us to realise we would want to know about each other – you were all too busy taking us away, 'protecting' us. Well, Rick's alive! He's not dead, he's fine. Fine is an elastic term though, because he thought I was dead too. But he's a writer now. I can't believe I didn't notice, but he writes crime books. They're doing well, too. And before tonight, my life meant nothing – all I wanted to do was go get fucked out of my head so I wouldn't have to think about him, dream about him, wonder what he would have been doing if... It's all changed now though. He's going to call me tomorrow."

Johanna looked at her daughter, stunned. For the first time since the accident, Kate's eyes had looked alive. She got up from her seat at the table and put her arms around her little girl, crying.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't know... I didn't know what to do."

Kate leaned in to her mother, and actually relaxed into the hug. She knew her Mom was always busy with work, and that there was no point wishing she was something she wasn't. But she still loved her, and wanted her love and respect returned. Since the accident, she had felt totally separated from her family – she just lived with them, that was all. But now she wanted to be a better kid.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Okay so I know this is a crazy technique, but it was done on a detective show once. So I am going to do it too. Because I don't like my direction any more :P.**_

_He lay her down on the bed, slid off her shoes, and covered her with a blanket. Then he took a wet cloth and wiped her face. He made sure she was on her side so she wouldn't choke if she was sick again, and put the waste basket at an easy distance from the bed. He made sure she was breathing fine, and when he was sure she was, he sat down on the floor. His head was spinning. He had to go. _

_Etc._

Kate woke up, shaking. What the hell? She heard a faint beeping. Her alarm. What? She looked around. She was still at school. Wearing a party dress. Wow. She should NOT drink. Drinking gave you crazy dreams.

Rick! Where was Rick? She had dreamed he went to get drunk. He was eighteen now. It was his birthday. She grabbed her phone. She had a message.

_Good morning, sunshine. X R_

It had all been a dream? Seriously? Wow. She had made up so much – maybe she should be studying psychology – the mind was such a crazy thing. Tom! Where was Tom. She held her head in her hands. She's never really had a hangover before. She wondered what to do.

And what the dream had met. In the dream, she had been in love with Rick. Oh, shit.

_Is it?_

She texted back. He replied instantly.

_;-). Want to walk it off? We could go into town. X_

Kate shuddered.

_Why don't we just hang here? X_

There was no reply, but in a few minutes, there was a knock at her door. She managed to croak out a 'come in', and Rick appeared.

"You might want to take that dress off. Not to be rude, but – well, it still has sick on it."

Kate looked down at herself and gasped. "Shit. Oh my... I was sick on you? Oh god... Let me go shower. You can stay here..."

"Don't worry. Angry birds will keep me occupied. Off you go," he said kindly.

Kate was almost out of the door before she remembered.

"Oh, Happy Birthday!" she said.

"You remembered!" he teased.

Kate laughed, and went to shower. When she was clean, and wearing her favourite pyjamas, she felt much better. She went back to her room to find Rick sitting on her bed. She was so happy to see him there, young, cute, not a druggie...

Rick saw the look on her face.

"You look like you've seen a ghost. What's up?"

Kate took a deep breath. She could tell him. "I had a dream..." she began, and told him the whole story. He listened with fascination.

"Wow – you have quite the imagination when you're drunk," he said when she was finished.

"So it would seem," she said, leaning against him without realising she was doing it. His arm slid around her, and she was too shaken up to resist. The only thing she hadn't told him was that she'd been in love with him – she'd made Josh seem more dreamy, and Rick seem more like a friend. She wasn't quite sure why – but she was sort of with Tom now. And he was with Maddie. She checked her phone – and there was a message from Tom.

_You seemed pretty wasted last night. You want to get a coffee later? _

She wondered what to say. Rick peered over her shoulder.

"I'm surprised he noticed. He kind of left you alone..."

Kate nodded. She remembered. Rick was the one who'd been there for her.

"What happened to Maddie last night?" she asked.

Rick felt a little bad. "I don't know. I guess... Well, you were very eye catching."

"Oh, God, I must have looked a sight, throwing up and everything."

"That wasn't what I meant at all. You looked amazing, Kate."

As she talked to him, her grasp on the real world was getting much stronger. She was beginning to remember the dance as last night, rather than months ago. The way she felt about Rick hadn't gone, though. He felt so warm – his arm was still around her.

She kind of missed her Mom too. In the dream, she'd wanted to be closer to her. Maybe she'd call later...

"What should I say to Tom?" she asked Rick.

Rick thought about it.

"I think you should go. I'll go find Maddie, make sure she's not too mad at me."

Kate sighed inwardly. But she couldn't exactly tell him – not now she'd changed the story. She wrote a message to Tom.

_Coffee sounds great. Meet me in the hallway at 3?_

Rick left to get changed and find Maddie, and Kate got dressed too. Maybe her Mom would know what she should do about Rick. Maybe it was just the dream and the hangover talking – Tom was great. He was really nice. She put on some make up, and soon enough it was time to meet him.

He put his arm around her when they met. It didn't feel as good as Rick's. She forced herself not to make any more comparisons, and got into the taxi he had ordered to go into town. He was really friendly, and very apologetic about losing her the night before. Kate didn't tell him about Rick, or about the dream. He wasn't that interested, or that chatty about what he'd been up to. Kate suspected he'd been distracted by another girl. She didn't mind. It wasn't as if she'd been the perfect date either.

When Tom put his hand on her leg, she resisted the urge to move. Rick seemed to really like Maddie. So there was no point. Tom was as good as anyone. Well, as anyone who wasn't Rick. And she wanted someone... She was far from home, she was lonely, and she wanted to have someone to hold her. It was shallow, it was probably wrong – but her life was difficult enough. She thought she was owed this. She moved closer to Tom, and she saw his smile grow. She didn't think he was in it for personality either.

Tom paid for the coffee. Kate didn't really protest – he seemed to have money, and it had been his idea. He wondered if she wanted to go to the cinema later, but she said she didn't really feel like going out. He suggested they watch a movie in his room. She thought about it. It was Rick's birthday. Should she do something with him? But he had Maddie... She agreed to the movie. She didn't want to be alone that evening.

Rick went to Maddie's room. He knocked gently, and the door was opened by a red eyed Maddie.

"Oh. You remembered me. Happy Birthday," she said.

Rick apologised. "I'm so sorry. I don't know... I guess I was just a bit overwhelmed – I mean, it was mostly Alice," he managed.

Maddie looked relieved. "Really? So... so you and me...?"

Rick couldn't bear to see her face fall. "Yeah. I really like you, Maddie. I'd love to spend more time with you."

Maddie grinned from ear to ear. "Do you have any plans for your birthday?"

Rick shook his head. He'd been planning to ask Kate to hang out with him, and have an all American evening... but she had Tom. She just saw him as a friend. He shouldn't kid himself. When Maddie suggested they go to the 'pictures' (which he realised meant movie theater) he agreed with a smile. She seemed so happy. And she was a lovely girl. It was nice hanging out with someone who was into you, too. She went back into her room.

She'd made him a card. It was very cute – hand drawn, with comic book characters. And he was one too. It was perfect. Without thinking, he bent down and kissed her on the cheek. She blushed bright red, but then smiled even more. Rick had to smile back. They went to his room – he put the card on his desk, then they sat on the bed. Maddie wanted to know all about everywhere he'd been – maybe his life story was actually pretty interesting...

Kate got back with Tom at about 6. It was almost time for dinner, but he'd bought some food for while they watched the movie, and they decided to skip with it. Kate was kind of glad – she didn't really want to see Rick.

Rick and Maddie signed out at 6.30, and got hot dogs at the movie theater. Maddie was adorably excited at eating this _American_ food. At least, Rick did everything he could to find it adorable. They watched some chick flick thing. It was okay. It even had some funny moments. When he imagined messing about with Kate, and wondering how she would mock the characters, he forced himself to look at Maddie and the pretty top she had put on. She was good looking. She really was. He was a lucky guy.

**_So, I hope you liked it. And thanks for reading, I know I've kept you soo long before updating this one - please forgive me :-). LOADS of hugs and loveballs, xoxoxoxox and please review, ur comments mean so much!_**


	10. Chapter 10

****_**Look, I must feel bad - 2 chapters in one evening! I hope you like it. Sorry she's doing stuff with Tom - but there would be no story otherwise. And to the people who liked that it was in England - look - it's actually still in England. Don't give up hope - obviously, Caskett IS meant to be - but maybe fics have to be reversed - since they're together on TV, they have to have lots of drama in the fics. But you should know from my other fic I am a HUGE Caskett shipper, so in the end... Not giving anything away now, though. **_

**_Thanks so much for reading, it means so much to me that you do, and since I want to be a writer, I appreciate it all the more. It is amazing when you take the time to review, so even if you just have a moment, just tell me what you think. Even one word is awesome. (And to all those who write me lovely long reviews, I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH!) Take care, you're awesome, keep loving Castle, good luck with the 5 week hiatus... I will write lots over the holidays (I hope) and so will all the other lovely writers I know, so I'm sure we'll all manage somehow._**

**_Hugs and Loveballs, Zanna (and finally the author's note is over so you can get to the story :P) xox _**

**Kate leaned against the wall** and stared at the screen of Tom's Mac. It was the latest one – some people really did have everything. He had put on a rom-com for her benefit, which she didn't have the heart to tell him was pointless – she just wanted to make fun of it. He got up to get some food, and when he sat back down, he was so close they were touching. She didn't mind – it wasn't gross or anything. But it didn't do anything for her, not really. He put his arm around her. She tried to relax into him – she managed to fake it enough that he didn't notice how tense she felt. He seemed happy.

When the movie ended, it wasn't really late enough to go to bed. She didn't really want to go up to her room anyway – she'd be alone, and thinking about Rick with Maddie. Tom turned off the laptop, and turned to face her. She knew what was coming – she'd hung out with enough guys. It was always awkward. You didn't know what the other one was like, or what they liked. She let him move his face in. At least he hadn't been eating cheese crisps. She had only eaten a mint. He kissed her. He wasn't bad – at least he'd done it before. First timers were even worse.

She kissed back. It was kind of fun. She hadn't pictured Rick once. Well, now she had. But only once. Tom, she was kissing Tom. He was cute, he was nice, he was funny, he was hot... His hands were sliding over her back, and soon they were under her top. She kept it going – if she pulled away, she'd just have to leave. She moved in closer, and slid her hands under his shirt as well. She could feel the muscles on his back. He felt nice. She felt him fiddling with the clasp of her bra. She let him keep working at it. She wondered how far she would go. Not much further...

She was on her back, and her shirt was undone. He was still kissing her. He was better than good, she was actually pretty turned on. It was fun. She shouldn't have been so negative. She kissed him with much more energy – he noticed, and she felt him smile under her mouth. She could see there was some strain on his pants. She ran her hand over him, once, then slid off the bed, fastening her bra and doing up her top.

"Cruel," he laughed.

"This is only the second date. You've known me a week. I think it's reasonable." She smiled at him. He caught her eye.

"Want to hang out tomorrow?"

Kate thought about it. "Yeah," she said honestly. "I do."

Tom grinned. "Great."

Kate had to sneak back to her room – it was quite late now. She got ready for bed, and checked her phone. No messages. She tapped one out.

_Goodnight, birthday boy._

The reply was instantaneous.

_Birthday man. That's the whole point._

_**Men don't go to school.**_

_This one does._

_**Nope. If you're at school, you're a boy.**_

_All man. Want me to prove it?_

Kate paused. Did he mean what she thought he meant?

_**Fine. Since it's your birthday, I'll concede.**_

_Shame. I'd have enjoyed convincing you._

_**Shut up with the dirty talk.**_

_Speaking of dirty, how was the date with Tom?_

_**Good. He's great. Did you do something with Maddie?**_

_Yeah. We went to the movies. It was fun._

_**Cool. Maybe we could double :P**_

_Maybe. _Rick stopped typing. He wanted to say he'd rather it was just her and him. He backspaced.

_Sure. That'd be fun._

Kate wondered if that was how he really felt. She wanted it not to be. Even though she was with Tom now. Even though she was happy to be with Tom. Although maybe she was only happy to be with him because Rick was off limits now he seemed to be with Maddie. She hated this – why did everyone have to be with someone anyway? It had only been a week. Was it just a condition of being a fairly good looking teenager that you always had to be in a couple?

_**Did you have a good birthday?**_

_It was alright. The best bit was cleaning up your sick._

_**Was that on your birthday? Ouch. Sorry!**_

_No problem. You looked great, it made up for it._

_**Thanks. I remember – did you carry me? **_

_See – MAN!_

_**I already conceded. Although – after midnight. Not your birthday any more.**_

_I'll never be a child again._

_**That sounds sad. I'd be happy.**_

_You seem like you're trying to escape. I have no idea where I'm going. Adulthood's scary._

_**I'm going to be the first female chief of justice. That's scary.**_

_That's cool. I think you'd be good. I just want to write..._

_**Don't worry. You still have two years left.**_

_Okay that's kind of scary too. Two more years here?_

_**We'll survive. We've got each other.**_

_My little shred of America._

_**This little shred's getting sleepy.**_

_Maybe it was a little too shredded last night?_

_**Nice play on words. Yeah, maybe. Goodnight.**_

_Sleep well x_

_**You too x**_

Kate told herself it wasn't wrong to put a kiss. It wasn't that kind of kiss. She wanted it to be. But it wasn't, it didn't mean that to him.

Rick told himself it wasn't wrong to put a kiss. It wasn't that kind of kiss. He wanted it to be. But it wasn't, it didn't mean that to her.

Kate woke up late, and went to shower. She put on skinny jeans and a long sleeved purple top that hugged her body tightly. It really showed off her figure – but she was young, and she liked the way she looked. Tom did too – she could see it in his face. She was wearing heels too, high heeled brown boots. She was pretty much his height when they were on. Rick still had a couple of inches on her – but she told herself that wasn't important.

She found Tom in the common room. He beckoned her over, and she sat on his lap. Just then her phone buzzed.

_Do you still want to read my novel?_

Kate glanced at the message, but didn't answer.

"Who was that?"

"Phone company," she lied smoothly. Tom didn't suspect anything.

"What d'you want to do today?"

"I dunno. What is there to do here?"

Tom smiled. "You like swimming?"

Poorly disguised attempt to see her in a swimsuit. Oh well. She did like swimming.

"Yeah. There's a pool here?"

"Of course. Meet you back here in ten minutes?"

"Sure."

Kate got up, and went back up to the girls corridor. She met Shannon on the way – she was with Alice.

"Hi, Kate," they said. It was creepy, almost in unison. But Kate smiled.

"Hey. How's it going?"

"Fine," said Alice with a sly smile. "Saw you got pretty drunk at the party on Friday."

Kate made a face. "That's how we Americans roll."

Shannon gave Alice a look, then smiled more genuinely at Kate.

"I thought you looked amazing. We're having a dance practice later – d'you want to come?"

Kate glanced at her phone. It was 12pm.

"When later?"

"Oh, not til eight – after dinner."

"Okay, sure. That'd be fun," Kate said.

"Where are you off too now?" Alice asked.

"Going swimming with Tom. I didn't even know there was a pool here."

Alice made a face which said 'commoner' then she and Shannon left. Maybe Alice wasn't so nice after all. That was a shame. Kate had liked her before. She went into her room. Bikini, or all-squashing racing suit. Normally she would go straight to the bikini – but this was England. Would they consider it really slutty? Oh well. It was only Tom. She pulled out the bikini, grabbed a towel, and went back to the common room. Tom was waiting for her.

The pool was at the back of the school, in a separate building. It was big. Kate was actually looking forward to swimming. Tom showed her where the girls changing room was, and she slipped on the bikini. It was red. And when she looked at it in the mirror, it was pretty minimal. Too late now, she thought as she went out to the main room. Tom was wearing black speedos which left nothing to the imagination. He looked good. When he saw her he looked like he was going to drool. She dived into the pool and swam a couple of lengths. He stayed sitting at the edge.

She got out, and went over to him.

"Just watching, huh?"

"Letting you warm up. And seeing how fast you are."

Kate had been taking things extra slow. She had seen this coming.

Tom grinned.

"Race you?" he said.

Kate winked. "Sure. But you should warm up too."

"I think I'll be okay," Tom said smugly.

"Suit yourself," Kate answered, "But don't come crying to me if you pull a muscle."

Tom laughed. "Four lengths, dive start, first with both hands on the side. On three – you can count."

Kate smiled, and prepared to dive. Tom got ready too. She counted, diving into the water as she yelled 'three'. Tom jumped slightly before she did – she had wanted to be fair. But her dive was longer. She swam full speed, feeling her muscles burn as they had their first proper work out in weeks. But she was miles faster. She hit the end a good three seconds before him, and smiled at his astonished face.

"Maybe you should have warmed up?" she asked, giggling.

To his credit, he laughed too. "Maybe I should have..." he said. They swam a little more, then messed around. Tom got out a ball, and they batted it back and forth over the little flags that hung over the pool. Kate was aware that Tom watched her very closely when she jumped. But it was more flattering than anything else.

When they were changed and dry again, Tom walked her to dinner. She'd replied to Rick in the changing room, saying she'd love to read his novel, and she'd get it from his room after dance practice. They ended up sitting at the same table to eat – Tom's friends Ryan and Javi had made friends with Rick. Alice, Shannon, Jenny and Lauren were there too, and Maddie. The other girls were actually being nice to her now. Which was good.

Everyone was talking about why Ryan was called Ryan, when really his name was Kevin.

"So why are you known by your surname?"

Ryan shrugged. "My Dad's called Kevin too. It was complicated. And my middle name's Benedict. So I went for Ryan."

"It suits you," said his girlfriend.

"You would say that," joked Javi. "It's just weird. What's everyone else's surname? Demming.. Rick, what are you?"

"Rodgers."

"It just doesn't work."

Kate thought about it. "I was called Beckett at school a lot – because I did lots of sport, I guess. I kind of liked it better."

"It's powerful," said Tom, "But I like Kate. Katie."

Kate smiled at him. "Then let's stick to that. I'm happy to be Kate here."

They carried on talking and eating, then Kate and Shannon left to get ready for dance. She was hardly out of the dining room when her phone buzzed.

_Looking good today, Beckett._

She laughed. Shannon looked at her enquiringly, but she shook her head.

"It's just an old friend being silly."

It wasn't really a lie. If she was saying old because of age, Rick was older than any of the others. She and Shannon changed into their dance clothes. Kate wore sport leggings and a sports bra – she was kind of intimidated by Shannon's leotard, but Shannon smiled when she saw her.

"Wow, you look great. And your abs..."

Kate grinned. "I do sit ups when I can't sleep."

Shannon laughed. "You'll probably have a thing or two to teach us."


	11. Chapter 11

**_Thanks for reading, I hope you like it. Thanks for all the suggestions about killing Tom and Maddie ;-). Take care, enjoy, please review xoxo_**

**Kate enjoyed the dance practice **more than she thought she would. Shannon was nice, and good – although they danced differently. Kate liked putting flips and gymnastics in everything she did – they did dance to pop music, but the moves they used were more traditional. They weren't against her though – and they all wanted to learn.

She got back to her room, where she had left her phone, to find two text messages. The one from Tom was nice.

_Hope dance was fun. I have a feeling, after the swimming, you'll show them a thing or two. See you after? Xxx_

She looked at Ricks second.

_U done teaching the St James' dancers how to turn tricks? When you are, the novel's in my room. X_

She laughed loudly. Trust Rick to make a joke. But it was funny. She went to shower, putting on her pyjamas. She texted Tom back as she changed.

_It was fun, thanks. I hope you had a good evening. I'm pretty tired, I just want to read myself to sleep – but you can visit if you want. Xxx_

She decided not to answer Rick – she just went straight to his room. She knocked on the door, and he opened it with the air of someone who'd been waiting for her. He handed her a wad of paper. She looked at the front.

"In a Hail of Bullets by Richard _Castle_?" she said, putting emphasis on the strange last name. "Don't you like Rodgers?"

"I wanted something exciting. What do you think?"

Kate said the name again, looking at him. "I like it. Castle. Suits you."

"I hope you like the novel too."

"It'd better be good, _Castle_," she teased.

She left the room.

"Goodnight, Beckett."

"Night, Castle."

She read the first page while she walked. It was good. He had a way with words, certainly. And his writing had a sort of flow to it, that caught you straight away, so you could hardly put it down. When Tom knocked on her door half an hour later, she had a hard time tearing herself away from it and putting it under her bed. She called for him to come in, and he did. He was just wearing sleep pants. He looked very good.

She stayed lying on the bed, but shuffled over so there was room for him beside her. He locked the door behind him, and came over to kiss her. He didn't even say anything. His hands were soon under her top again – she just took it off. She was all for equality. He managed to get out a "You're so beautiful," between kisses. She responded by running her hands through his hair, and pulling him closer to her. He began to move his head down, kissing her breasts, and after a while even lower, fighting with the waistband of her pyjama pants. She knew she should tell him to stop. But it felt pretty good. Her breathing quickened. He slid his hands down her sides and her legs, pulling her pyjama pants off. Then he went back to kissing, fiddling with the fabric of her panties.

"They stay on tonight," she murmured. Tom showed he had heard by moving his hands back up to her chest, but his kisses stayed where they were. Soon she'd be going against her own edict. But not tonight, she told herself forcefully. She sat up on the bed, forcing him to sit up too, and moved his mouth so it was back on hers. She kissed him hard, trying not to think about his erection, then pulled away.

"Goodnight, Tom."

He smiled, and passed her top from the floor. She put it on, and gave him a hug.

"Thanks," she said.

He looked at her with a question in his eyes. "I know a lot of guys who would have kept going."

Tom grinned. "I think waiting til you want it will be worth it."

"I think you're doing your best to make me want it as soon as possible," she answered, returning his smile.

"I won't deny it. Want to go out to dinner tomorrow?"

"Yeah. That'd be nice."

"And I can show you something. I've been saving it up."

"Oh? What?"

"It's a surprise. But I'll say this – we won't need to get a taxi."

Kate grinned, and said goodnight as he left the room. She wondered what he was talking about – he was seventeen – maybe he had a car? That would be cool.

When she had cooled off a bit, she pulled the book out from under the bed. She didn't like to admit it even to herself, but all the time she'd been with Tom – and really _ALL _the time – she'd been wondering what happened next in Rick's book.

She forced herself to go to sleep fairly early – she wanted to be awake for school in the morning. When her alarm woke her up, she looked at the horrible school uniform hanging in her wardrobe, and wondered how she could be a little less annoying to the teachers, and still look what she considered to be presentable. She looked at the skirt. It wasn't so bad – if it was shorter, it would be sort of retro or something. She found some safety pins and rolled it up a bit, pinning it in place. But that just made it bulky at the top. She looked through her own clothes, remembering she had a pretty similar black skirt she'd worn for a dance costume. It was made of the elastic-y material most of her costumes were, but it looked okay. She put on the shirt and tucked it in. It didn't look that bad. She looked at the cardigan. There was really no saving it. But the blazer wasn't too bad – it fitted better, and looked quite neat with what she was wearing. She put it on, and some black tights instead of the long socks everyone else seemed to wear. She looked for shoes. Her Mom had bought her some chunky black things – but even the girls here wore nicer things than that. She put on her black chucks, hoping the white rims wouldn't be a problem. By the time she was dressed, she didn't have time to do anything with her hair. She shook it out, put on a little eye make up, and went down to breakfast.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

After he'd given the book to Kate, Rick wondered what to do with himself. Kate would be seeing Tom – he'd heard Tom tell Javi things were going pretty great between them. His iPhone buzzed. Kate?

_Hey. Want to do something tonight? M xx_

Rick sighed. He should have known it would be Maddie. And he shouldn't be so disappointed. Did he want to do something?

_Sure. Did you have something in mind? R xx_

_**Do you play jenga?**_

Rick laughed.

_I'm amazing at jenga. Common room in 5? xx_

He smiled. At least it was something to do. When he got to the common room, Maddie was already there, making the tower. He helped, and soon they were playing. It was fun. He set his phone playing some music, and they chatted. Maddie was nice. Rick got the feeling her home life was pretty rubbish. He knew the feeling. He began telling her more about his travels. She was fascinated.

"I've never been abroad apart from the school trip to France. We went to Paris, but it was pretty boring."

Rick smiled. "It's not all people make it out to be. Travelling round so much... It means it's hard to make friends, too."

"You seem to have done okay here – better than I did in years."

Rick looked at her sad expression. "But you're real. I like you better, anyway."

Maddie smiled. "Really?"

"Really."

The common room was empty. Rick looked at Maddie's lonely eyes, and leaned across, knocking over the jenga tower and bringing his mouth to hers. She kissed back like someone who'd never been kissed before, but also someone who'd thought about it a lot. It was nice. Rick told himself again and again it was nice. But he was thinking about when Kate had kissed him. The way that had made him feel...

Maddie didn't need the kiss to go very far. He walked her to her room, and kissed her goodnight at the door. He walked past Kate's door on the way to his own room. He forced himself not to knock. He checked his phone when he got back to his room. There was nothing from his mother – he wondered what she was up to. He resisted the temptation to message Kate asking what she thought of his novel. She would tell him tomorrow.

He got up early the next morning – he hadn't slept well – and went running. He plugged in earphones and let the music pound through his body, taking him somewhere else as he ran around the school grounds.

He got back in time to shower and dress in black pants and a white shirt before breakfast. He ran his hand through his still-damp hair, and went down to sit with Javi and Ryan.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Thanks for reading, here is the next chapter. Your reviews and follows mean so much to me, please keep writing them :D Take care, loads of hugs and loveballs, Z xox_**

**_Disclaimer: It's fanfiction, clue's in the name guys :P_**

**When Kate went down to **breakfast, her eyes went immediately to Rick. He was the best looking guy in the room, by far. He was sitting near Tom. She wished she could like Tom as much as she liked Rick, but she just didn't. She'd have to try harder. She went and sat beside him, smiling as he admired her uniform.

"I knew you'd make anything look good," he said appreciatively.

"Thanks. It's not so bad, I guess," she said, looking around at the other girls. She was lying – she thought the uniform was hideous. But she was trying to fit in. Maybe fitting in would help her to do better with Tom.

Her classes went a lot better that morning than they had done last week – the teachers were beginning to see that she was very smart, despite her accent. She noticed that Rick was doing better too. She kicked herself for thinking about him, but she couldn't help it.

In the morning break she went to the roof. It was a warm day for September in England, and she lay down, letting the sun soak into her skin. She took off her jacket, ignoring the goose pimples that appeared on her arms, and after lying still for a while, they'd warmed up anyway.

She wondered if she was with Tom because she was protecting herself. Rick might leave. If they were together and he left... She might never get over him. Plus, she was messed up enough. Sure, everyone was. But her family... She didn't want to have a boyfriend because he would make her feel better. She didn't want to need protecting. And she thought with Rick, she might show him her weaker side. She didn't want to be weak. With Tom, she stayed protected.

At break, Rick looked around for Kate. He couldn't see her anyway – Tom was talking to the guys. Maddie was busy making friends with Shannon, so Rick wandered off. She'd be on the roof. Should he go and find her? He decided he should, even if it was just to make sure she was okay. When he got up there, she was lying in the sun with her eyes closed. She looked so peaceful, he didn't want to disturb her. He watched her for a while, until her eyes opened and she spotted him.

"Hey, Castle," she said with a smile. He'd caught her unawares, and she was genuinely happy to see him. He loved the way she said the name he'd given himself.

"Hey, Beckett. How's it going?"

"Could be worse. How were your classes?"

"I had pretty much the same ones as you. And I feel pretty much the same about them, I think."

"The teachers are starting to like us better," Kate commented.

"Which is a good thing..." Rick answered. "Mind if I join you?"

"No, that's okay," she said, pushing questions about how Tom would feel out of her head.

Rick lay down beside her, feeling the sun on his skin too. He was close enough to feel the heat from her body, and to smell her cherry shampoo. He felt his heart rate quicken and he forced himself to breathe slowly. He couldn't stop thinking about when she had kissed him. He didn't care that she was with Tom. He just wanted to be around her.

Kate stiffened when Rick lay beside her, not because she didn't like the proximity, but because she was afraid she'd do something she'd regret. And that it would only be something she'd regret because she didn't want to cheat on Tom.

"I keep thinking about..." Rick began, but he didn't manage to finish it.

"Thinking about what?" Kate asked. She had good idea of what he was talking about. But she wanted him to say it.

"Never mind. Hey, what did you think of my novel?"

"I haven't finished it yet, so don't you dare spoil it. I love it, Castle. It's amazing."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I'd publish it, if I were a publisher."

Rick grinned. "I'm so glad you like it." He resisted the temptation to put his arm around her.

When the bell rang for their next class, they were both kind of relieved.

In the evening, Kate ended up in Tom's room again. She hadn't really spoken to Rick since they'd been on the roof with the 'elephant'. She wished she hadn't kissed him the week before. She was doing a lot of wishing these days. She tried to relax with Tom. As she'd told herself many times before, he was nice, he was funny, he was really good looking... And she knew for a fact that Rick was with Maddie. She also knew that he'd left Maddie at the social to look after her, and that Tom hadn't looked after her when she'd needed it.

She kissed Tom more enthusiastically. She didn't need looking after. Tom gave her space to be independent. He didn't make her feel all weird and gooey inside, like she needed a knight in shining armour. In a way she _was _more relaxed around him – Rick made her uncomfortable.

_Rick only makes you uncomfortable because you want to be with him but you're with Tom_,

said a stupid little voice in her head. She unbuttoned her shirt and told it to shut up. Tom was a good kisser. He was more experienced than she was. Her mother was pretty moral – Kate didn't want to have sex until she was in a serious, long term relationship with someone she really cared about. So far, this had not happened. She wondered if Rick was a virgin. She was sure Tom wasn't. She wondered if it would be better to have your first time with someone who knew how it worked, and not just from books and movies, or whether that would just mean you were worried about getting it wrong because they'd know if you did something weird. She wondered what it would be like to have your first time with another first timer. She had a feeling if the other first timer were Rick, it would be pretty fun. He'd probably be funny. And sweet...

Stop it! She was thinking about Rick again. She helped Tom get her tights off, and he took off his pants. He was already shirtless. She admired his abs. Rick didn't have abs like that. But then again, there was such a thing as having too much muscle... She ran her hands through Tom's hair. He had nice hair. It was soft. Maybe he used conditioner. Rick used gel in his hair; it would probably feel weird. Or nice. Beckett! She shouted at herself again. Tom was kissing her neck. He was good at that too. Now he was trying to undo her bra. She wondered what the deal was with guys and bras. They weren't that difficult to operate. She gave him a hand. Then he started paying a lot of attention to her chest. Which always made her think of Notting Hill, one of her favourite movies – Anna asks Will what the deal is with guys and breasts. Kate didn't know either. But Tom seemed to be enjoying himself.

She'd go to bed soon. She'd finish Rick's novel tonight. And there he was again. Why was the thought of him doing what Tom was doing so much more exciting than Tom actually doing it? She sighed, and wriggled a little, so Tom sat up. She kissed him again.

"I'm getting kind of tired. Got to get up early, I want to go swimming before breakfast. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure," said Tom, a little confused. She hadn't needed any slow down time at all. But his brother said men never understood women, there was no point trying. So he kissed her again, and said goodnight.

Kate put all her clothes on again, and went back to her room. She felt weird. She hadn't minded the last two hours at all. They had been fun. She would do it again. Tom was good. But she was far more excited about reading Rick's book than the thought of Tom doing that, or even more, to her. She sighed. Life was never how you wanted it to be.

When she got to her door, she saw Maddie going back to her room. She tried to get in before Maddie saw her, but she didn't make it.

"Hi, Kate. How are you?"

"I'm fine," she answered. _Go away go away go away I want to fantasise about your boyfriend while I read his novel_. "How are you?"

"I'm great, thanks. I've been with Rick – he's wonderful isn't he?"

"He's alright. I've only known him as long as you have."

"Were you with Tom?"

"Yeah. He's great."

"A lot of girls seem to think so. I'm not sure... he's too perfect somehow. Anyway, I mean, uhm, he's a lovely guy."

"Glad you think so." Kate smiled, and moved to go into her room.

"Kate?"

Kate groaned inwardly. "Yeah?"

"It's just... Oh, this is going to sound so childish and stupid, but..."

Kate forced herself to be friendly. It wasn't Maddie's fault. "Go on, it's okay, I'm sure it won't."

Maddie smiled. "Well. I've never actually had a boyfriend before. And... I don't know, you seem so grown up, so brave and everything. I was wondering... I was wondering if you might give me some advice?"

_You want me to give you advice on how to be a good girlfriend to the guy I'm breaking my heart over? _"Of course, sweetie, anything you want to ask, I'll answer. But just to let you know, I'm not as experienced as you might think."

"Oh, thank you so much!" Maddie practically squealed, pulling Kate into a huge hug that knocked all the air out of her. For such a small girl, boy she was strong.

"I'm so glad. I really hope we can be friends. I got the feeling, before, that you didn't really like me..."

"Nonsense! Of course I like you. I'd love for us to be friends. Goodnight – see you at breakfast?"

"Yeah! That'd be great. Thanks again. Goodnight."

It might have been her eyes deceiving her, but Kate could have sworn Maddie skipped back to her room. She went in to her own, closed the door calmly and gently, then threw herself face down on the bed.

SHIT.


	13. Chapter 13

**Kate lay on her bed for a while, **then remembered Rick's novel. She got it out and found her place, and as she read, she began to feel much better. She wouldn't be at all surprised if he was a famous writer one day. Her phone buzzed. She made a face, but checked it. It was a message from Rick.

_Maddie tells me you two are friends now. Care to explain that development? _

_**What development? I can be friends with Maddie?**_

_Fair enough. Just thought you didn't like her much. _

_**I do. Weird you'd think that...**_

_Sorry. How are you?_

_**Good. You? How was your evening with Maddie?**_

_I'm good. It was fine. How was Tom?_

Rick wished they were face to face, so she could see his expression. He didn't want to be with Maddie. He wanted to be with her! He wondered if he should write it. But he couldn't...

_**Good. You made that sound like, how was he as in sex :P**_

_I actually meant just in general. But you can answer either._

_**He was good.**_

_Teasing me. I know you haven't slept with him. _

_**How?**_

_There's a glow. And I can always spot a virgin._

_**Honestly, who isn't in this place?**_

_Tom. And maybe Alice. But that's it. Including the teachers._

Kate laughed.

_**You didn't say you. Does that mean you're a virgin?**_

_Why do you care? It's not a competition. But yes, I am. I'm saving myself for the right girl, or something..._

_**You're two years older than me. It may not be a competition, but...**_

_If it were you'd win? Slut :P And it's only a year and a month or so – you're seventeen in November, right?_

_**Don't call me a slut. And we don't know yet. And yes, November. How exciting...**_

_Don't knock seventeen. Was a good year for me. Where did lover boy take you tonight?_

_**To the drive thru. He thought it was amazing, we went in a car!**_

_But you're not thrilled?_

_**Seriously? It's a car. I can drive, got my licence at 16 like normal people do.**_

_Aah, you prefer bikes, don't you?_

_**How do you know?**_

_And you don't mind muscle cars._

_**Mind reader. Can you drive?**_

_Of course. And.. No. I won't tell you. You'll make me let you borrow it._

_**You have a bike? Here?**_

_Not telling._

_**You do! C'mon, Castle, please...**_

_Well. Since you called me Castle ;)_

_**Thank you! When?**_

_You free tomorrow?_

_**I have class. **_

_Do you _want _to go to class?_

_**No. Okay, let's do it. I was going to go swimming, but meet me at the back door at 8.30?**_

_Swimming. Sounds fun. Want to swim first? Has Tom seen you in a swimsuit?_

_**He's seen me in a lot less than that. Okay. Meet you at 7 then.**_

_Awesome._

_**Only girls say awesome.**_

_It's good for a man to be in touch with his feminine side._

_**If you say so :P**_

_Shut up or I won't let you come tomorrow._

_**Okay, okay, you're the best, manliest man I know. You just ooze testosterone! **_

_Bit far, but I'll accept. Don't be late tomorrow._

_**You kidding? I won't sleep at all, I'm so excited. Plus I have your book to finish – loving it, by the way.**_

_Good. Enjoy. Night Beckett xx_

_**Goodnight Castle xx**_

Kate put down her phone. Was she really going to cut school tomorrow to ride Rick's motorcycle? Hell yes, every cell in her body screamed. She picked up the book and continued reading – it was pretty exciting too.

The next morning, she grabbed some warm clothes, and put her phone and some money in a little backpack, then went to meet Rick at the pool. She'd gone for the bikini again. She wasn't late, but he was already there, swimming lengths.

"Hello," she said when she walked in. He stopped and looked at her, treading water, trying not to gasp. She stuck her tongue out, and cannonballed into the water. He laughed, and they began to play, chasing each other, swimming underwater, giggling almost constantly. When they were completely exhausted, they lay by the side of the pool, panting.

"I know I've seen you wearing that little before, but you look amazing," Rick said with a cheeky grin.

"Thanks. Tom thinks so too."

"I'm jealous of Tom."

"He hasn't seen much more than you."

Rick pointed to her panties. Kate shook her head. He pointed to the top, and she nodded.

"Very, very jealous."

"You have Maddie."

"She doesn't have that much up there. And we've stayed bra-on so far."

"I think they're just inconvenient. They jiggle when I want to run."

"Amazing," Rick said with another smile.

Kate punched him playfully, and sat up. "You don't look half bad yourself," she said, and winked. "I'm going to get changed."

They hurried to get dressed, and just left their swimming stuff in the changing rooms. Rick led her round to the garage, where he kept his bike. It was a Harley – Kate grinned from ear to ear. She put on her backpack, and Rick wheeled the bike out to the road. He got on, and she got on behind him. She held him tightly, wrapping her arms around his chest and stomach. He had a spare helmet – his was black, hers was dark red. He kicked the bike into action, and it zoomed off. Kate pulled herself closer to Rick, turning her head to one side and leaning on his back as she watched fields and hedges fly past them.

He stopped in town to get gas, and a map. Then they thought about where to go.

"We could just explore," Rick suggested, "And use the map to get back."

"Sounds like a plan. Or we could go to the sea! Nowhere in England is that far from it, right?"

They studied the map.

"We're about two hours away," Kate said. "And it's only nine now. We'll be in trouble whenever we get back, so we don't need to be back early at all."

"Right. Weather looks good. Let's do it!"

They went into a small cafe and Rick bought 2 bacon sandwiches and 2 coffees. They ate and drank as fast as they could, grinning at each other. Then they got back on the bike.

Rick was a great driver – fast, but not too fast – just the right amount of scary to be exciting and dangerous without actually making you feel at risk. And Kate loved having her arms wrapped around him.

They drove along country roads that wound and intersected, and passed little white cottages out of fairytales. From this angle, England wasn't bad at all. It wasn't hot, but the sun was shining and it was fairly warm – and beautiful. Kate held on to Rick, breathing in his scent, wishing she could just stay this way forever.

Rick loved having Kate so close, touching him, enveloping him. He drove, but it felt as if he was flying. He felt so free – and it wasn't the bike. It was Kate. He didn't know why, but he knew he wanted her. He thought she was perfect. But she was with Tom. And he was not going to be _that _guy. He wasn't going to steal her. He could be the best friend.

But – he could have sworn there was something in the way she spoke to him, almost as if she was asking him to ask, wishing he would ask. Girls liked guys to fight for them – did she want him to fight? He didn't know what she wanted him to do. Probably she didn't know. If his mother had taught him anything, it was that women were useless at making their minds up.

And she was with him now. Sure, he couldn't kiss her. But she wanted to spend the day with him. She was holding him. He should just make the best of it.

Kate closed her eyes, trying to remember why she was with Tom and not Rick. The only thing she could come up with was she was afraid. She was afraid she'd get too attached and one of them would have to leave. And maybe because she wanted to fit in at school? Tom was basically a ticket to fitting in. She sighed. She would just make the best of today, and not over think everything. She could have fun with Rick without worrying about all the questions she didn't have answers to.

_**Just you put down that pitchfork, Hannah, and wait. It will be worth it, okay. To everyone else, that means, she won't be with Tom forever. Thanks for reading :D it's awesome that you do. And even more awesome when you review! Go on, just a few words, make my day. Love you, take care, sending you hugs from Glasgow xoxox**_


	14. Chapter 14

**They managed to find **a small beach – they hadn't wanted to go to one of the big resort towns. Piers were overrated. It had started to drizzle a bit, and the little village where they ended up was almost completely deserted. Rick left his bike under a tree, putting a cover over the seat, hoping it wouldn't get too wet, and they ducked into a small cafe.

"Want something?" he asked Kate, eyeing the ice cream cabinet. She was looking outside – the sun was still shining through the rain, and there was a huge rainbow over the beach. She smiled, and tapped Rick on the arm so he would look. He turned, and saw what she saw.

"It's like it's just for us," she breathed.

"Maybe it is," Rick answered. "Come on, pick an ice cream, I'm starving and sick of being a gentleman and waiting for you."

Kate laughed, and handed him a tub of vanilla ice cream.

"Vanilla? Don't you want something a bit more exciting?"

"Sometimes vanilla can be fun – and just what you need." She waggled her eyebrows, and he had a feeling she wasn't just talking about ice cream. He bought a chocolate tub for himself, and they headed back outside. The rain had gotten a bit harder, but the sun was brighter too. It was weird – it was warm rain. Kate looked out at the beach, took off her shoes, and ran to the sea. Rick copied her, and they stood in the water. Rick got out his phone and ear buds. He gave one to Kate, and put on some music – the Beatles.

"Aren't you a bit young for the Beatles?" Kate asked.

"Maybe I'm an old soul."

Kate grinned, and opened her ice cream, dancing in the shallow waves. Because of the ear buds, they had to stay kind of close, so Rick danced with her. When their feet were a bit cold, they got out of the water and sat on the sand, still eating their ice cream. Rick noticed Kate was eyeing his chocolate.

"You made your choice. You can't be after mine now."

Kate smiled sweetly. "Just a taste? It looks good."

"It is good. Fine. I can't believe I'm letting you have some."

Kate grinned.

"Open wide," Rick said, taking a tiny amount on the little spoon.

"Oh, come on, that's pathetic," she said.

"What, you don't want it now?"

"No, I do. Please." Kate opened her mouth, and Rick fed her the ice cream. As she licked it off the spoon, she couldn't help thinking about how it was Rick's spoon, that had just been in his mouth. She grinned.

"Want some of mine?"

Rick laughed. "You owe me some."

Kate took a spoonful, but instead of giving it to Rick, put it in her own mouth, and moved close to him. She didn't know why she was doing it. She was with Tom. Tom! But Rick was here, and he was cute, and she couldn't help it.

And then he was kissing her, and it was different, so different from the first time, mostly because neither of them was crying. She dropped her ice cream tub and threw her arms around his neck; he dropped his too and put his hands on her waist, pulling her into him so their bodies were pressed into each other. When they broke apart for air, he said in a bemused way,

"Wow, you were right, vanilla really is good."

Kate tried to steady her breathing. She straightened out her top, and fiddled with her hair.

"Castle, I..."

"That's okay, Beckett," Rick answered the unspoken question even though every part of him was yelling not to, not to let her go. "You're with Tom. You don't want to cheat on him."

Kate looked into his eyes. They looked disappointed, but understanding. "I... I don't know if I even want to be."

"But you have to figure it out on your own. There's no point me being an added complication."

Kate nodded. "Thank you. And I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It was amazing."

Kate smiled. "Really?" she couldn't help asking.

"Really. Tom's a lucky guy. And feel free to practise on me more any time."

Kate laughed, and pulled him into a hug.

"You're the best, you know that right?"

"Yes. I do. But it's nice to hear it from someone other than my reflection."

He hugged her tight, and wondered why he was letting her go. Maybe he wanted her to be ready. He didn't want to be the guy she had a crazy thing with while she was deciding if she was sure about Tom. He wanted to be the real thing. And he would wait, forever, if he had to. And there was Maddie. He didn't want to break her heart.

The rain had stopped. They looked out at the deserted beach.

"Want to make a sandcastle?" Rick asked.

Kate laughed. "Okay."

They knelt on the sand, and started to build... something. They were trying to make it like a fairytale castle, but the sand was wet, and their hands got cold, and it ended up a little lopsided. When they stood back to admire their handiwork, they were in complete agreement that it had looked much better in their heads.

"Oh well. C'est la vie," Kate said.

"Such is life. Yeah. Parles-tu francais?"

Kate nodded. She had lived in France. "And you?" she asked. Rick nodded. He had lived there too.

They knew they had to go back soon.

"Want to drive for a bit?" Rick asked, when they were walking back to the bike.

"Seriously? I'd love to!" she said, smiling. Rick loved that he could make her smile like that. Rick put on the backpack, they put on their helmets, then got onto the bike. Rick put his arms carefully around Kate, holding her tight. She wished his arms could be around her forever.

She started the bike, and drove off, going perhaps a little too fast. She felt her eyes prickling. It was as though they were driving back to reality. She managed to drive for about ten minutes, then she had to stop to dry her eyes. She was still on the bike, and Rick turned her round to face him. She'd taken off her helmet because she couldn't get at her eyes even with the visor up, and he saw she was crying.

"Kate.." he began, but everything he could think of to say seemed pointless. Are you okay? Don't cry. They just sounded stupid. He took off his helmet too, and just pulled her close.

"I wish we didn't have to go back," she said quietly.

"Me too. But we do. I wish a lot of things."

"Me too. All the time."

"I don't think wishes come true unless we make them. We have to do the work."

"I think you're right. But I'm afraid."

"Sometimes it's okay to be afraid. Sometimes, it's worth it."

Kate looked into his eyes, knowing what he was talking about.

"But what if... What if I just have to move on again? What if she gets another job? What if you have to leave."

"No, I get it. Tom's safe. Sometimes people need to be safe to be happy."

"I don't feel happy. Maybe this isn't one of those times. Castle... I want to make the decision. I want to know what to do-"

"But you don't. Neither do I. I mean, what about Maddie? It feels like we've both chosen a path, and we wish we could change it, but it's not as simple as just switching – because we can't change without hurting people we care about."

Kate nodded.

"You gonna be okay?" Rick asked.

"Will you still be my best friend?"

"Always."

"Always," Kate echoed. "Then, yes. I think. I think I'm going to be okay."

"You never know. One of us might think of something."

They both smiled ruefully, and Kate spun back around, started the bike, and drove back to the real world that she had made for herself.

_**This chapter was really hard to write, especially the end, but I knew this was going to happen (I actually have a plan with this one...) and I think it has to be this way to be true to the characters. Thanks so much for reading, please review, and hey, they are getting closer ;-). Take care, loads of love and hugs, Z xxx**_


	15. Chapter 15

**They stopped in town to buy something to eat – it was past ten already, **and they knew they would be in trouble when they got back. They sat in the cafe, sharing a plate of fries. Chips. Kate smiled at Rick.

"Thanks for today, Castle. It was really fun."

"Always. And you too. We should do this again sometime. Although maybe not the kissing?"

"Maybe not the kissing... You're good though. It was better this time. You weren't crying."

"That does help. I'm guessing we're keeping this between ourselves?"

"There's no point telling Tom and Maddie. It would just upset them."

"I think you're right. I don't know about Maddie though..."

"She really likes you. And she's nice. Very nice. And pretty, and smart, and funny."

"Well. I'll think about it then. I guess you're happy with Tom?"

"I don't know. I sometimes feel... I don't want to have made the wrong choice. And if I have, if we have, aren't we just digging ourselves deeper?"

Rick thought about it. "Maybe. I don't know. I don't know what you should do, but I'm not going to force you in either direction."

"Which is what proves to me you're such a great guy. But I almost wish you would."

"Ah, Beckett, life would be so much easier if there was someone to tell us what we should do. But figuring it out on your own is a big part of, like, growing, I guess."

Kate laughed. "So I'll be a better person at the end of it."

"Exactly. And I will too, I guess."

The chips were finished. Kate looked at the empty plate.

"I guess it's time to face the music." She looked at her phone. "Shit, they must have told my Mom. Nine missed calls."

Rick looked at his own phone. Nothing. "Maybe they didn't get around to telling my mother yet..." he said quietly. Kate looked at him, knowing how he must feel. It must be awful to think your Mom didn't care about you.

"I'm sure she doesn't know. She would have called if she did," she said gently. She got up and put her arm around him.

"It's pathetic really. I shouldn't even care. I'm 18 – an adult. A man. And all he wants is his Mommy to care."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Castle. Everyone wants a mother. We need it, even when we're old."

Rick got up and smiled at her. "Thanks, Beckett. You're sweet."

"I'm right. Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

Rick ended up driving, and Kate put her arms around him, wondering when she would be able to do this again. She held him tight, wishing they didn't have to go back. She felt her eyes prickling again, but they were hidden by the visor. They got back to school, and Rick drove the bike into the garage. They got off and put away the helmets. Kate looked at the bike, and thought about the whole day. Rick watched her, and pulled her into a hug.

"Don't worry. You're the younger one. They'll blame me."

"That doesn't make me feel better. Maybe we'll get thrown out."

"Do you want to be?"

Kate considered this. If it had just been Tom she was leaving, if there had been no Rick, she probably wouldn't have minded. But there was a Rick. "No. I think I want to stay."

Rick nodded. "Me too, I think. Let's hope, then."

Rick took her hand without thinking, and they walked that way to the front door. When they rang the buzzer, Kate squeezed his hand, then gently let it go. The door opened, and they went to the office. Mr Johnson was waiting for them. His voice was calm, but it was obvious he was angry.

"Richard, Katherine, it's nice to see you back in one piece. Richard, if you would come with me to my office. Katherine, there's someone waiting for you in there." He pointed to a nearby classroom. Kate could guess who it was. She opened the door, taking a deep breath.

"Kate."

"Hi, Mom."

The onslaught began immediately. "What the hell did you think you were doing, riding off on a motorcycle with some strange boy, letting him take you God knows where doing God knows what? Did you set out to drive your father and me sick with worry? Because that's what you did! I thought sending you here would calm you down, help you to settle – but this is just Paris all over again!"

"Look, Mom. Paris was a misunderstanding, we got on the wrong train, I called you, and nothing happened. And also, he's not a strange boy. He's my friend. And we didn't _do _anything. We went to the beach."

"Oh, you went to the beach! Well, that makes everything okay! God, Katie, could you do me a favour and once in a while think about someone other than yourself? The school was so worried, they had no idea where you were, they were on the point of calling the police! And a criminal record doesn't go away, Kate, I can tell you that for nothing!"

Kate sighed. "You don't get a criminal record for running away."

"Your name goes on files, and it can be found. It amounts to the same thing. And it says unreliable. I want you to be reliable."

"I'm seventeen in a week, Mom. I can look after myself. And... Why should I be reliable? I don't feel like I've ever had anyone to rely on. We just move, and move again. Talk about selfish – my whole life has been about moving for _you_! And I'm sick of it."

"I'm beginning to think it was the wrong decision, sending you here. You should be living at home, where I can keep an eye on you."

"No. I want to stay here."

"You want to stay?! After what you've done, I thought you'd want to leave. They might not take you back!"

"Well, fine. Whatever. I'll do whatever you want. You always decide anyway. I never get a say. Rick's like me. And today we actually had fun. We got to choose something for ourselves, for once."

"Rick is this boy? I should have known. It sounds like you just went for him. I'm sure it was all his doing. You should stay away from people like that, Katherine."

"It wasn't his fault. He wouldn't have gone if it weren't for me. And I wanted to go."

"Well then. What more can I say? I have to go back to London, I'm working in the morning, and it's a three hour drive. I'm very disappointed, Kate."

Kate said nothing. Her mother put on her coat, and looked at her again.

"I do love you, honey. But you make it so hard to understand, sometimes."

Kate felt tears pouring down her cheeks. She stared straight ahead as her mother walked out of the room. When she was just about to go out of the door, Kate spoke.

"Do you?"

Johanna came back into the room.

"Do I what?"

"Love me. Really. Did you really want a child?"

"What kind of a question is that? Of course I love you. Of course I wanted you."

"But you love your job more."

Johanna didn't speak for a while. "You can't use this against me, Kate. You can't bring this up now. You are the one in the wrong today and you know it. As for my job, yes, I love it. Differently. I love it as a job. I love you as a daughter. It's just hard to like you sometimes."

Kate tried not to gasp, tried to steady her tears. She respected her mother more than anyone in the world – all she wanted right now was for that respect to be returned. She had forgiven her mother so much, without ever complaining. She wished her mother could forgive her, and understand her. Johanna wasn't the soft, affectionate type. Kate wished her mother would say how worried she had been, she wished her Mom would pull her into a hug, and show that love was unconditional.

"Right," she said. "I don't like you much either."

Johanna sighed, and opened the door again. "Goodnight, Kate. Toe the line, or you will be coming to live with us. And it will not be fun."

"Awesome."

"Brilliant. I'll be checking your grades."

"I'll be checking your case closure record. Bye Mom."

Johanna closed the door. She spoke quickly with Mr Johnson, who told her everything would be fine, that Kate would be gated for a month, and not to worry, they'd keep a close eye on her. Kate looked out of the window, to see her Mom walk into the car park. She looked fine, not even a little bit sad. She strode purposefully to her car, got in, and drove away into the night.

"Love you," Kate whispered. Then she went out of the classroom. Mr Johnson was waiting for her.

"You look as though you've been told off enough for one evening. Don't do it again?"

How could he be so much nicer than her own mother?

"Yeah. I mean, uhm, no, I won't."

He smiled. "Glad to hear it. You have to do the time, I'm afraid. You and Richard are gated for a month."

"What's-"

"No going out. You have to stay on the school grounds. I also want to have a chat with both of you tomorrow lunchtime, my office."

"You don't seem too mad."

"I'm not. I did a lot worse, at your age."

"You looked mad when we came in."

"Have to keep up appearances."

"Did you call Rick's Mom?"

"We couldn't get hold of her. Why, do you think he got off too lightly?"

Kate laughed. "Maybe. But... I don't know. I guess having a crazy Mom who hates you is better than feeling like your Mom doesn't even care."

"I know what you mean. If it makes you feel better, I was very understanding. I was almost convincingly threatening. Now, you look like you could use a good sleep. You have to be up early in the morning. And so do I. So, goodnight, Kate."

"Goodnight, Mr Johnson."

She went up to her room. He really was nice. She wondered what it would be like having someone like that for a parent.

_**Thanks for reading, you're awesome, please review. Hugs and loveballs, Z xxx**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Kate opened her door, hoping she could just lie down on her bed and sleep. **She had completely run out of energy – it had been a long day. But there was someone waiting for her.

"Kate! You're back, finally."

Tom was lying on her bed.

"Tom. Hi. Yes, I'm back."

"You were with Rick?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But what? But you're supposed to be with me? Yes, Kate, I know."

"No. It wasn't like that. We're just friends."

"Then why did you go with him? You could have done something with me. I'd have skipped school with you. I've skipped school before."

"I know... It's just, Rick and I are in the same boat right now. We just wanted to hang out. But there's no reason for you to be jealous."

Tom still looked upset. Kate went over to him, and kissed him. It did feel good. Just not as good as- No. She wasn't even going to go there.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Positive. I'm all yours."

Tom smiled, and pulled her onto the bed.

"_All _mine?"

Kate saw where he was going.

"Yeah. Or I will be. Would you mind if it wasn't tonight?"

Tom stopped kissing her, and pulled back. "That's okay. It is a bit fast, I suppose."

Kate smiled. "I'm just tired. I want it to be nice. And not when you're jealous. Even though you have no reason to be."

"Fine," he smiled back. He got up and went towards the door. "Goodnight, Katie."

"Goodnight, Tom."

Once he had gone, Kate changed into a baggy t-shirt she'd inherited from her father, and got into bed. She checked her phone. There was a message from Rick.

_Your Mom sounded mad – ouch. Mr J was great though – did he talk to you?_

_**She was, but it's okay. Yeah, he's awesome. We have a lunch date tomorrow.**_

_What a coincidence – I'm meeting him then too. Pity we can't go out any more._

_**I have a feeling they'll be watching us. Tom was mad too.**_

_You spoke to Tom? Maddie's sleeping, I think. _

_**He was waiting for me in my room.**_

_Romantic :P_

_**He was jealous of you.**_

_Tell him the feeling's mutual. Except I'm far more justified._

_**I don't think provoking him's a good idea. He's pretty tough, I think he could take you.**_

_Don't tempt me to prove you wrong._

_**I don't know, it might be fun to watch.**_

_Nope. No more getting in trouble. _

_**Actually I agree. My Mom threatened to take me back to live with her.**_

_Ooh. That would suck. Don't go._

_**Not planning on it. Planning to sleep though.**_

_Good. And me too. Goodnight, Beckett._

_**Night Castle xx**_

_xx (I'm all for equality)_

Kate closed her eyes and tried to sleep. She thought about when she'd been driving the bike, and Rick had been holding her. She imagined his arms around her, keeping her warm and safe, but it was all too obvious that it wasn't real. She thought about what her mother had said. Sometimes it was hard to believe they were related. At other times, they were practically the same person – which was maybe why they fought so much. Kate hoped her Mom had gotten home safely.

Eventually she fell asleep, and dreamed about Rick as a detective, and she was a detective too. They were catching some criminal or other. It was a lot like his novel.

The next morning, she put on her only-very-slightly-liberal interpretation of the school uniform, and went down to breakfast. She ended up sitting between Rick and Tom. It felt weird. Tom put his hand on her leg. Which also felt weird. She swatted it off.

"Not at the table," she muttered.

"Why? Are you ashamed to be with me?" he whispered in her ear.

"No, but I don't want the whole school thinking I'm a slut," she whispered back.

"I thought you didn't care what people think," Rick whispered in her other ear.

"Shut up Castle," she said out loud. She could feel Tom glaring at Rick behind her back. "And you stop it too Tom. He's my friend. Get over it."

"Fine," Tom said through gritted teeth. "Want me to get you some more cereal?"

"Actually, I'm good. I think I'll head upstairs to brush my teeth," she said, leaving the two guys to sit next to each other. Rick looked amused. Tom looked as though he wanted to be angry, but didn't have a reason yet.

Kate brushed her teeth, and collected her books. She went to class. There were a few whispers, but she sat with Shannon, and people got over it. She didn't think they were judging here – the whispers were actually kind of admiring. She didn't sit with Rick at all – mostly because Tom was in all of her classes, and she didn't want to upset him. She explained about having to see Mr Johnson at lunch, and he was nice about it. He said he'd get her a sandwich and give it to her after.

She found Rick waiting outside the office. He winked at her.

"Having a good day?"

"Great thanks. You?"

"You're lying. Mine's going okay. What's wrong with yours?"

"I dunno. It's just boring after yesterday."

"Poor little Wednesday. We gave it a lot to live up to."

"We sure did."

"But I don't think that's the only thing that's wrong."

"It's a free country, think what you like."

"Tell me. You know you want to."

"No I don't. I'm still undecided."

"Well, when you decide, then."

"I'll think about it."

"You do that."

"Okay I've thought about it. Meet me on the roof after class?"

"You want to push me off?"

"No, I want to tell you. With the opportunity for pushing you off afterwards, if I decide telling you was a bad idea."

"Gosh. You make it sound so appealing."

"I've been told I'm irresistible."

"By Tom?"

"Maybe."

"Then it's a deal, I'll be on the roof."

"See you there."

"You two do know that the roof is strictly off limits, even for private meetings?" Mr Johnson appeared from his office. "But I'll pretend I didn't hear you talking. Come on in."

There were two chairs in front of his desk, and they sat on them. Mr Johnson, instead of sitting behind his desk, sat on it in front of them.

"So, Kate, Rick – I decided to call you both here now, since Kate had to meet with someone else last night, and it was late and you were tired. We have to talk about what happened yesterday."

"I'm sorry, it was all my-" Rick began, but Mr Johnson held up his hand.

"I don't think you really are sorry. And I'm hoping you were equally responsible. I don't want you to be sorry – I hope you had a good time. Since the rules force me to punish you, I'm hoping it was worth it."

Kate laughed. She just found him funny. He was the nicest headmaster she'd ever had. Mr Johnson looked sideways at Rick.

"I think she had fun. Well done."

Rick grinned. "We're, uhm... We're not together."

"Oh, I know. You're both diversifying – Kate, you're seeing Tom – and Rick's with Maddie. Which is very nice for Maddie. And good for Tom, I think. But I have to admit I'm a little surprised."

"You know a lot about us," Kate commented.

"I make it a point to know everything about all my students," he said with a smile. "Relationships are tricky. People do stupid things at your age. It's a part of growing up. But I like to be ready to pick up the pieces when I need to."

Rick laughed. "You're really not how I expected you to be."

"People rarely fit with how you imagine they're going to be. And I like challenging the image."

Kate looked at Rick, and smiled at him. They had really thought they were going to be in big trouble.

"Now, I should explain the gated thing. Basically, you have to stay here, until this time next month. And you aren't allowed to go to the socials. Think you can manage that?"

They nodded. Mr Johnson smiled.

"I know you aren't going to magically turn into model students. But I'm bound by the rules, and the boring teachers, to be as mean as possible when you _get caught _doing stupid things."

Rick laughed. "So, don't be too stupid, and most importantly, don't get caught?"

"Right on, young man. Kate, think you can handle that?"

She laughed as well. "Yep."

"Okay then. You can go, I just need to say one more thing to Rick because he's eighteen now."

Kate nodded, winked at Rick, and left. Tom was waiting for her outside the door, and she gratefully accepted the sandwich – she'd left breakfast without eating enough just to escape the awkwardness.

Rick was left with Mr Johnson.

"You recently turned eighteen?" the teacher asked.

"Yeah," Rick said, wondering where this was going. Mr Johnson smiled.

"So, congratulations. You're a man now. And what I want to ask you is, why is Kate still with Tom?"

Rick stared at the teacher, confused.

"It's obvious she likes you. Come on, mate, she skipped a day of a relatively new school, when she was already not a favourite, to go off riding your motorbike. Don't you like her?"

Rick continued to stare. He took a deep breath.

"I do. But I don't think she likes me that way. She chose to be with Tom. How can I compete with him when she's already showing me he's won? Also, why are you taking an interest?"

"I'm taking an interest because I don't like watching mistakes. And as much as young people need to make them, looking at your records, either one of you might move on any day. And I don't think you should move on without seeing if it would work. Everyone sees the connection. I heard it when you two were talking outside my office on your first day. And I don't know how you should compete. But if you really want her, you're going to have to fight. Girls love that, anyway. They love to feel sought after. No bigger turn on than too guys gouging each others eyes out over you."

Rick laughed. "So you're saying I should gouge Tom's eyes out?"

"Metaphorically... Okay, not even metaphorically. I can't condone fighting. But maybe talk to her about it?"

"We have. She says... She's afraid of getting hurt. And she knows I might leave. And she doesn't want us to hurt Tom and Maddie, either."

"Oh, yes, Maddie. But you two are only going to hurt them more if you keep it up. It's rubbish being with someone who doesn't feel that way about you. Okay. Obviously, it's your decision, you have to choose whatever you think... I'll leave you with two thoughts. One – have you ever seen the end of Notting Hill?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, he doesn't get her by sitting there being proud of his honourable decision, does he? Second, do you know the phrase, 'When you're in a hole, stop digging'?"

Rick nodded.

"So stop digging, Rick."

Rick nodded again.

"I can see you're planning something. Happy scheming. And with Maddie, she's a nice girl, and she likes Kate. Honesty is often the best policy."

"You mean I should-"

"I mean nothing. Don't get caught going up to the roof."

Rick laughed. "Got it."

He left the office, knowing he would have to talk to Maddie tonight, and thinking Mr Johnson was like the father he'd never had.

_**We're getting closer guys. OMG writing this is soooo much more fun than revision. I hope I don't fail my exams... Thanks so much for reading and all your adorable comments, it means so much to me :D Take care, loads of hugs n loveballs, and please review, Z xxx**_


	17. Chapter 17

**After class, Kate headed straight up to the roof. **Rick wasn't there yet, they'd been in different classes so maybe he wasn't done. It was quite cold – not as nice as last time. But still nice. The view was good. Rick appeared after a few minutes.

"Hey," he said with a smile.

"Hey, Castle," she said. He stood beside her.

"So – what were you going to tell me?" he asked.

Kate thought hard, wondering how to begin.

"Well, you know my Mom came to see me last night?"

Rick nodded. Kate looked out at the view, rather than at his face. She didn't want him to see that she was almost crying.

"I just... I wish she loved me. I mean, I know she does. She wouldn't have come if she didn't. But she always acts like I'm an embarrassment to her or something. When I have kids, I want to be friends with them. And we were – Mom and I used to do fun stuff. But then she got promoted, and there were all these jobs, and I was alone in all these different places, and I didn't turn out how she wanted me to. And I hate being a disappointment to her – all I wanted to do when I was little was make her proud. And now I know that's never going to happen."

Rick put his arm around her, having no idea what to say.

"I guess my Mom drives me pretty crazy as well. At least yours came here."

"Have you heard from your Mom since she left London?" She turned to look at him.

Rick shook his head. Kate sighed.

"Now I feel bad. You have a lot more to complain about than I do."

"Don't feel bad. I'd say we're about even."

She put her hand up to take the hand of his arm that was around her.

"What did Mr Johnson want?"

"Just to give me some advice."

"Oh. Was it good advice?"

"I think so. We'll see."

Kate smiled. "I'm sure it was. He seems like a smart guy."

"Yeah. He does," Rick said, looking into her eyes. They were so beautiful, even when they were puffy and red.

They stood there together, watching the sun set.

"We should go down to dinner," Kate said. Rick nodded, and they went down together. Rick watched her go and sit with Tom, and he felt himself shrivel up inside. He went to sit with Maddie. She smiled when he went over – she was sitting away from the main group.

"Hey, Rick. I hope you're not in too much trouble?"

"Hey, Maddie. No. Not really."

"That's good. But you look sad."

"Maddie, I have to talk to you."

Maddie smiled. "Okay."

"Look, you're great, I like you so much, but-"

"You're in love with Kate." She was still smiling, her face full of understanding. "That's okay. I kind of knew from the beginning. But you were so cute, and you seemed to like me, and it even got me talking to the in-crowd for a bit. Gosh, Rick, you look so sad!" She put her hand on his. "Really, it's okay. Thanks for being honest about it."

Rick smiled. "And you're really okay with it?"

She nodded. "Like I said, I could tell from the beginning your heart belonged to someone else."

Rick made a face. "Maybe. But she's still with Tom."

"Oh," Maddie said. "I thought this might be a mutual thing, that you'd decided after yesterday to... No? Well that must be a bit rubbish for you."

Rick nodded with a rueful smile. "Yeah. Just a bit. Look, Mads, I still feel bad. I'd like for us to be friends."

"Me too... It's okay, though. Maybe I could talk to Kate for you?"

"No, I think that would just be too much. I've already talked to her about it..."

"Ah. Well, it doesn't look great. But we might be able to do something..." Maddie got lost in thought, trying to work out how he could be with someone other than her.

"Maddie, you're amazing. And if I weren't in love with someone else, I would marry you, probably."

Maddie laughed. "Don't burn your bridges. I'm sure I'll find someone, anyway. You're a bit skinny for me. And tall."

It was Rick's turn to laugh. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," she said, going back to thinking. Rick looked over to where Kate was sitting. Tom's arm was draped casually over her, as if to say, she's mine. He groaned inwardly. Kate turned and caught his eye, smiling. He smiled back, and Maddie saw and waved cheerfully. Kate laughed, and gestured that the conversation at the cool table was really boring. She got out her phone to text Rick. He picked up his, eager to see what she wanted to say.

_Hey lover boy. You seem cheery._

_**Not to bad. You seem bored :P **_

_You can only talk so much about football. I miss the motorbike. And I wish there was ice cream for dessert._

_**Have you told Tom you just like vanilla yet?**_

Rick waited, but there was no answer. Had he gone to far? He looked over. Tom seemed annoyed, and Kate seemed worried. He wondered what was going on. And then Tom was on his feet, and Kate's phone was in his hand. Kate looked upset. Rick jumped up and ran over.

"What did you do to her?" he yelled at Tom. "Give her phone back!"

Tom looked furious. "What did _I _do? What did _you _do, lover boy?"

Rick realised what had happened. Stupid. It was his fault, he shouldn't have been talking to her then.

"Look, it wasn't-" Kate began, but Tom cut her off.

"Shut up, Kate. This is between me and Rick."

"Don't tell her to shut up," Rick growled.

"Don't tell me what to do, not when you've been sexting my girlfriend!"

"What? And what kind of a word is-"

Rick was forced to stop speaking when Tom's fist connected with his mouth. He staggered backwards, and spat blood on the floor. A crowd had gathered around them, and they weren't yelling 'fight' but they might as well have been. Rick knew he had to fight back. Kate was watching. He stood up straight, and punched Tom in the eye, following it up with another punch to his gut. Tom grunted, but he was stockier than Rick, and stronger. He got back up, and hit Rick again.

The fight was dirty, and painful. They staggered around, throwing punches, and ended up locked together in a kind of scuffle. During the commotion, Maddie made her way over to Kate.

"Sorry," she said quietly.

"Why? How is this anything to do with you?"

"Well, I just broke up with Rick. So he was bound to be upset."

"But... But you guys looked so happy."

"I think he must have been pretending so I didn't feel bad..." Maddie said thoughtfully. "I'm going to go now. Don't let your boyfriends kill each other."

Kate winced as yet another fist cannoned into Rick. She didn't know about him, but _she_ couldn't take much more of this.

_**Even closer :P I hope you liked it. Please review, love n hugs, Z xxx**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Rick kept the pain **from his face as Tom hit him, over and over. He could take this. He would take this, for Kate. It was his fault, he'd made Tom mad. And now he would show her he was prepared to fight for her. Also, he was stronger than Tom thought – he wasn't fighting back as much as he could. He took another punch to the stomach, and doubled over with partially feigned pain. Tom was getting tired. Rick hadn't even started. Tom took a step back-

-And Rick struck. He wasn't as strong, but he was faster. He threw a punch to Tom's face, getting him squarely in the jaw. Tom's head snapped back, and Rick hit him again, this time in the chest. He fell back into a table, which knocked him off balance. Rick took the opportunity to punch him again, so he fell to the floor. And didn't get up. Rick stood back, and saw blood on his fist. Tom groaned on the floor. Rick looked at Kate.

Kate had been watching the fight with wide eyes. She knew there was no point getting between them. And no one had ever fought over her before. And then it was all over, and Rick was standing, stunned, over Tom lying on the floor. Kate started at Rick. She hadn't thought he would win. She'd thought she would have to scrape him off the floor. Instead, she went to scrape up her boyfriend.

Rick saw Kate, the whole reason he'd been fighting. He saw her choose the other guy. He saw her choose the guy who'd insulted her, who'd ignored her, who wouldn't let her have friends. He turned around and ran from the room.

Kate saw Rick leave, and thought she saw tears in his eyes. But she must be wrong. Tom was the one who should be crying. She put her arm around him, and helped him to sit.

"You okay?" she asked.

He nodded, wincing. "I'll be fine. I never meant for it to be like that, he just came at me and I snapped, it was none of his business..."

"Don't worry about it. I understand. Let's just go before a teacher comes in." She began to lead him up to her room. By the time they reached the top of the stairs, he seemed to be doing better. He sat down on her bed, rolling his shoulders.

"Gosh. Haven't had a fight like that in a long time," he said.

"Haven't lost, you mean?" Kate asked with a little smile.

"Hey. He didn't fight fair. I only fell because I hit the table – a gentleman wouldn't have hit me then."

"Americans don't fight fair. We fight to win," Kate said, winking at him. "You want me to get you some ice or something?"

"No thanks, I'll be alright. That Rick, though. I don't know what you see in him."

"We're just friends, Tom. You don't have to be jealous."

"You talk to him too much."

Kate laughed. "If you really have a problem with that, you have much lower self esteem than I thought. And a lower opinion of me – I'm not going to cheat on you, Tom."

"It's not you I'm worried about. That guy... He's crazy. He just came at me."

"If I remember rightly, you hit him first."

"But he was asking for it, begging practically. He came over because he wanted a fight."

Kate nodded, not really agreeing, but she thought Tom had been embarrassed enough. Tom stood up. He felt better. He stretched, then pulled Kate over to him. He kissed her, but backed away, putting his hand to his mouth.

"Ow... Sorry. Might have to hold off that for a couple of days."

Kate smiled. "That's okay. What d'you want to do?"

"Shall we go down to the common room? I think there's a football game on – the guys are watching."

"Sure," Kate said. She preferred baseball or hockey, but she wasn't going to complain. She changed into leggings and a vest. Tom watched with interest. She opened the door to leave.

"Wait, you aren't going to put something over that?" he said, staring at her vest. Kate looked down at herself. It wasn't super low cut or anything, it showed she had boobs but people kind of knew that anyway.

"Wasn't going to..." she said, wondering if he really had a problem with it. "I think they keep the common room to warm."

Tom shook his head, and handed her a zip up hoodie from her closet.

"Don't want you to get ill because you're not keeping warm enough," he said, handing her the sweater. She sighed, and put it on.

"Happy now?" she asked. Tom made a face, but then winked. He took off his blazer and tie, and unbuttoned his collar. He was a bit scuffed up from the fight, but he straightened himself out. Then he put his arm around her and they went down to the common room. Rick was nowhere to be seen, but Kate thought that was better, considering. They passed around drinks; Kate took a bottle of water and went to sit down. Tom pointedly sat down beside her. They were right in front of the TV. It was a big common room, with plenty of sofas and places to sit. It was quite full though – and soon the TV was on. All the guys began to shout, getting totally crazy about it. Kate was sandwiched between Tom and his friend Harry – and a lot of other sweaty, loud guys piled onto their sofa. Kate sighed, and wriggled out of her sweater – it was hot. They all yelled and cheered. She tried not to be bored.

She looked around the room. There weren't any other girls. She didn't mind, she got on well with guys. She'd been a bit of a tomboy as a kid, and she wasn't intimidated. She saw Javi sitting on his own. He didn't seem that into the game – Ryan wasn't around. Maybe he was with Jenny. There was a lot more room beside Javi than where Kate was, so she squeezed herself out, and went to sit with him.

"Hey," she said in his ear over the noise of the room. "How's it going?"

"Not too bad. Heard about the fight. Is Rick okay?"

"I don't know. Tom's a bit bashed up though."

"Kind of serves him right – daft bastard, starting a fight with the American – we all know you guys kick ass."

Kate laughed. "I know what you mean. There was nothing to fight about, Rick was just trying to be nice, all Tom needed to do was let me tell him it was fine. I don't know why those two have such a problem with each other..."

Okay, she actually had a pretty good idea. Javi smiled knowingly – he knew she knew.

"You do dance with Shannon, right?" he asked, leaning over again to say it into her ear.

"Yeah," she replied. "Why? You like her?"

Javi kept his expression blank. "I don't know."

"She wanted to go to that dance with you. But you took Lauren..."

Javi sighed. "Lauren cornered me. I wanted to ask Shannon but I hadn't got the courage up yet, and then Lauren asked if I was going with anyone and I didn't want to tell her, I knew she'd tell the whole world in an afternoon."

Kate smiled. "You're right there. Well, maybe take Shan for a coffee on Saturday or something. She'll be so pleased."

Javi looked thrilled. "Really?"

"Really," said Kate, giggling.

Suddenly, someone tugged her up by the arm. She got up, and followed, but Tom was still almost dragging her out of the room.

"Hey! What's your problem?" she asked angrily.

"What were you talking to Javier about?" he demanded.

"What? We were just talking-"

"Just talking? Sitting in your corner, whispering and giggling more like! I can't believe you, after everything that's happened today!"

Kate stared at him. "I don't get it. We were talking. I can _talk _to other guys."

"He was eyeing you up. You were sticking your chest right in his face, and he was loving it. You looked like a little slut!"

Kate gasped, her face reddening with anger. "What did you just call me?"

"You heard. I called you a slut!" he shouted.

"Don't you dare shout at me like that," she spat. "Don't you dare... I am dressed perfectly reasonably. It was bad enough earlier but I put that down to affection, almost. But now you're treating me like I'm your property or something."

"Well, you should be mine – you shouldn't be flirting with other guys!"

"Flirting? I was talking. Talking! First, you take my phone and read my texts. Then you tell me to shut up in front of our friends, like I'm a child. Then, you beat up one of my best friends for treating me like a person. And now you embarrass me in front of a roomful of people, dragging me out like I'm your possession. And finally, you insult me and call me a slut for _speaking _to another guy. Who is also your friend. I can't believe I didn't see this before. I can't believe I didn't..."

"See what? Look, Katie, I'm sorry I called you that, it was wrong and not true. But if you're my girl.., I guess I do get a bit jealous."

He was trying to recover the situation, but it was too late. "Don't even try to back up, Tom. You said it twice. I can't believe I didn't see it before, but now I have, I'm not going to stay another moment."

"What! You're not breaking up with me! You can't. Christ, you really are a slut – you just can't commit to a guy."

"Not to a guy like you," she said angrily. "And you know what? When I was with Rick yesterday, we kissed."

Tom gaped at her. "You what?"

"Yeah. I kissed him. And he is _so _much better than you."

Tom ground his teeth together with rage. Then he slapped her across the face. Kate saw stars. If she'd been at all uncertain about her decision, this pushed any doubt out of her mind. She steadied herself, then smiled.

"Fuck you, Tom. You've lost it." Then, face smarting, she ran down the corridor, trying not to cry, telling herself that he wasn't worth it – but the truth was, she had liked this guy. She had been thinking about losing her virginity to him. And he had turned out to be a jealous, crazy lunatic. She kept on running, on her way to her room – and almost ran straight into Rick.

**_Boom. Luv ya, please review xo_**x


	19. Chapter 19

"**Beckett?"** Rick said, taking her by the shoulders. He realised she was crying. "Kate, hey, what's the matter?"

Kate was crying too hard to speak. Her face still stung from the slap, and her pride stung even more. She couldn't decide if she wanted to run away from Rick, or curl up in his arms. In the end she just shook her head – she couldn't stop the massive sobs that racked through her body. Rick put his finger on her chin, and saw that her face was red on one side. She tried to turn away, but he saw it. He took her by the shoulders again.

"Kate, did he do this to you?" Rick felt anger ripple through his body.

Kate nodded miserably, not thinking fast enough, not realising what Rick would do. Rick hugged her gently.

"Go on upstairs. Okay?"

Then he ran down the corridor, back the way she had come.

"Rick, no..." Kate managed, but he was already gone. And honestly, she wasn't that desperate to stop him. She leaned against the wall, and sank to the floor, still shaking and crying.

Rick ran for the common room, adrenaline pumping through his body. He would kill him. He would fucking kill him. He stormed in, and there was Tom, watching football as if nothing had happened. He stood in the doorway, trembling with rage. Tom saw him, and began to stand.

But then Rick turned around. He thought of Kate, alone, and sad. He thought of what Tom had done to her. And he realised he was better than that. He ran back for her, hoping she was still there.

When she saw him, she stood up, her eyes tearful, but questioning.

"I saw him. I looked him in the eye. And he knows we're better than him."

That was enough for Kate. She ran into his arms, folding herself into his chest.

"Thank you," she whispered, feeling his arms wrap around her.

"Always," he answered.

Rick walked up to her room with her.

"If you want to be alone-" he began.

She shook her head. "That's the last thing I want. "

Rick followed her into the bedroom, and she locked the door. She went over to the sink, and washed her face. Rick hovered near her, as though she was about to fall apart, and he was on guard to catch the pieces. She wasn't crying any more. She wanted to shower – she felt like she had Tom's sweat all over her. There was still a mark on her face – she was going to get a bruise on her jaw. She smiled. Rick had one too.

"I have to shower," she said to Rick. "But will you stay with me a bit after?"

She asked as though this was a big deal. "Sure," he said, smiling at her. She got her towel, and headed for the bathroom. When she was gone, Rick looked around the room. What could he do for her? Then he saw the bed. He looked in the closet, and took out clean sheets. He changed the sheets on her bed, making it up so it looked comfy and inviting. For her only, he knew. But he could give it time.

Kate reappeared, and saw immediately that he'd made her bed. She smiled appreciatively. Then she went to the closet herself, to get pyjamas. Rick politely turned to face the wall. Kate got changed quickly, then crept up to Rick.

"Ready," she whispered in his ear. He turned and put his arm around her.

"Want to tell me what happened?"

Kate nodded slowly, and they sat down on the bed.

"...I guess I just realised he wasn't who I thought he was," she finished.

"You could say that," Rick said. "But you make me want to go back down there and kill him even more. No matter how low it is."

Kate snuggled under his arm. "I know you won't. You're better – I knew that all along, I was just stupid."

"Don't worry about it. Everyone is now and then. And Tom's cute..." he winked at her. She punched him playfully. "Maybe you guys should hook up," she commented.

Rick laughed, but then became serious. "I hope you know I am nothing like him. I would never say to anyone what he said to you. And I would never hit a girl. I only hit him this morning because he hit me. And because he told you to shut up."

"I can't believe I ran to him," she said, ashamed.

"I would have done the same. He was the one on the floor. And he was still your boyfriend, at that point."

"And now I'm single..." she said, sounding pretty happy at the thought.

"We'll see about that," Rick teased, and Kate giggled.

They lay back against the bed, and Kate closed her eyes. Rick stroked her hair. She smiled.

"That feels so nice."

"Didn't Tom do this for you?" he asked, a wicked twinkle in his eye.

"Tom was more interested in this area," she said, gesturing towards her chest. Rick laughed.

"That makes sense."

"Shh, don't talk about Tom. Let's never talk about Tom," she said.

"Works for me," he said with a smile. "We'll erase him. We won't even see him, if we try hard enough."

Kate laughed. "How hard did he hit you in the head?"

"Hey, I thought we weren't talking about him."

"Sorry."

"That's okay."

They lay there in happy silence for a while. Kate felt herself relax completely.

"You're falling asleep," Rick said to her. She smiled.

"No I'm not," she mumbled, with her eyes still closed.

"Yes you are. You're drifting off into your dreams – and they're _all _going to be about me."

Kate laughed quietly. "They were already."

Rick laughed too. He stayed with her until she was sleeping, then silently left her room and went to his own. He smiled to himself as he walked. For the first time in weeks, at least some things in his life were just as they should be.

_**Sorry it's a bit short, but this was the natural end to this chapter. I hope you like it :-) Take care, thanks for reading, hugs n loveballs, Z xxx**_


	20. Chapter 20

**At breakfast the next morning, **Mr Johnson told the lower 6th to wait afterwards, because he wanted to speak to them before they went to class. Kate had been sitting with Rick, and she looked at him uncertainly – Mr Johnson was nice, but there had been a lot of fighting the day before. He didn't seem angry though – in fact, he had a mildly amused expression.

When the rest of the students were gone, and everyone had quietened down, he began to speak.

"As most of you will be aware, yesterday was rather eventful for some students in the lower 6th. Now, as you all know, St James' has a strict no fighting policy. There was a very public fight, in this room, yesterday. I have heard several accounts, and it seems to me justice has already been served. However, I have to stick to the rules – Rick Rodgers and Tom Demming, you're both gated for a month, starting today.

Tom looked furious.

"But, Sir, he's already gated. He's basically not being punished."

Mr Johnson looked at him with a piercing glare.

"I'd keep quiet if I were you. I've heard some other things which would put you in a very tricky position if those affected decided they wanted action to be taken." He looked pointedly at Kate. Then he addressed the room again.

"So, no fighting. Sort things out like adults, and if you need help, you know where I am. Go to class please."

Everyone got up to leave. Mr Johnson walked over to Kate, and tapped her on the shoulder.

"A word, Miss Beckett?"

Kate nodded, and followed him to his office. He motioned for her to sit down, and she did. He sat on his desk in front of her, and folded his arms.

"I think I'm looking at the trophy," he said with a small smile. "Not that I blame you. It must be nice to have options. What I really want to talk to you about is the mark on your face. I take it from the new mealtime seating that you are no longer with Tom?"

"You're right."

"He hit you?"

Kate thought for a long time. Then she shook her head. "I walked into a door."

"Must have been a funny shaped door," was the reply. Then he looked sideways at her.

"I get it. I think. You're being very kind to him, considering."

Kate looked back at him. "Maybe. Maybe I just don't care."

Mr Johnson nodded. "Well, if you change your mind... It's your birthday soon isn't it. Any plans?"

"Nope. I'm grounded. Gated. Whatever."

Mr Johnson laughed. "That doesn't mean you don't get a birthday. We usually let your friends loose in the kitchen to make you a cake – Shannon's already asked me."

"How come no one did this for Rick?"

"No one asked. I did speak to him, but he told me he wanted to keep it quiet. He's a bit old, for this year. He's not behind, but he started school late, and because of his record, he needed to be in this year to do the exams."

"He told me. Have you heard from his Mom?"

Mr Johnson shook his head. "Not that I would tell you if we did – not my place. But maybe you should talk to him."

"Thanks. I will."

"Well that sounds better. I'm glad you two are sorting things out."

"You want us together?"

"It seems to fit. Don't you think?"

"I guess. I..."

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop making choices out of fear. Just choose what's right for you, now. Don't think about what might go wrong. Think about what could be great."

Kate bit her lip.

"I know it's hard. You've both been through a lot. But while you're here, it's my job to make you as happy as possible. Which includes advising you. Your teachers tell me your head's doing just fine – you're doing pretty much the best in every subject. So maybe it's time to give your heart a say."

Kate stared at him, wondering how he could be a teacher.

"Oh, come off it, you know teachers are people really."

Kate laughed. "They aren't usually so open about it."

"Then they're dumb. I like to be liked. And it means you lot are far more likely to do what I say."

Kate laughed again. Mr Johnson watched her, noticing how the laughter didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Stop worrying. Your Mom will be okay. You have time to be happy here. Go to dance with Shannon. Hang out with Maddie – she's great. Keep making friends. And if you want to go out with Rick, please just do it and stop messing him around. I don't want any more fights."

Kate smiled.

"I'll definitely think about it."

"Thinking's like worrying. Do something without thinking."

"Isn't that what gets people into trouble?"

"What's life without a bit of trouble?"

Kate grinned. "You don't mean that."

"No. I don't. But you don't have to be so tough and on guard all the time." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Don't worry, I won't tell your mother. But maybe you should."

Kate laughed again, and this time it was much more real.

"She used to be happy."

"She will be again. And having a happy daughter will help her no end."

Kate nodded.

"Alright, you'd better get to class or Miss Wilson will eat me alive. Off you go," he said. Kate smiled, and hurried away. Mr Johnson watched her leave, and smiled as well. He found teenagers hilarious. He looked at the picture of his three year old daughter that he kept on his desk, and wondered what she would be like when she was Kate's age. He hoped she'd have had a much easier life, but still be just as strong and clever.

Rick watched Kate walk into class late. They were supposed to be writing under test conditions, and Miss Wilson looked really annoyed. By contrast, Kate looked almost breezy. Rick winked at her, and she winked back. She sat down to start the exercise, and hurried through it. The day seemed to pass quite quickly, and after classes were over, as usual, she and Rick ended up on the roof.

They lay with their heads next to each other, facing different directions, looking up at the sky.

"What did Mr J want?" Rick asked.

Kate smiled, though he couldn't see her. "Just to give me some advice."

"About what?" Rick asked curiously.

"Life. The universe. Everything."

"Love?"

"How did you know?"

"He gave me advice about that too."

"He seems to be quite the matchmaker."

Rick grinned. "Do you think he's right?"

Kate grinned too. "I'm not sure. I'm not sure I even needed him to say what he said. I think I might have been thinking it anyway. Well, some of it, at least."

"That sounds promising." He stood up, then held out his hand to help her up too. She kept hold of it, and walked to the edge of the roof with him.

"You know I used to think about jumping? I thought I would be alone forever."

Rick waited for what she would say next.

"Now I go to the edge and I'm actually afraid. I don't want to fall."

"I won't let you," Rick said simply.

"Good," she replied. They stepped back together, and she looked up at him. He bent down, put his hands behind her head, and kissed her. It was soft and gentle. She thought it was perfect.

They looked out at the sky. Kate laughed.

"It's not sunset yet. That would have been even more romantic."

Rick smiled at her. "Sunsets are endings. This isn't the end. It's the beginning."

"Another new start," Kate said to herself.

_**And as Rick says - this is not the end of the story either! I hope you liked it. Please tell me what you think. Thanks so much for reading, Lave as always, Z xxx**_


	21. Chapter 21

**Kate rolled over in bed, surprised to find there was room. **She wasn't really awake, it was Sunday, and she thought Rick would have been there. He had been when she fell asleep. They hadn't _slept _together yet, but they had been sleeping in the same bed for a couple of days. They hadn't even been on a date. They couldn't. They were stuck at school.

Kate sighed and sat up, looking around the room. Rick wasn't there. She frowned, then got up. He was allowed to do things on his own. She didn't mind. But usually she woke up first. She went over to the sink, to wash her face – and there was a note on the mirror.

_Happy Birthday Beckett. Get dressed and come to the common room :)_

Kate grinned. They had remembered. She put on jeans, uggs and a checked button down shirt, and walked down to the common room, wondering what her friends had done.

She opened the door, and was greeted by shouts of 'Happy Birthday' from Javi, Ryan, Jenny, Shannon, Maddie and a boy she knew by sight but didn't know his name. There was a little heap of presents on the floor, and there was also a table with chairs around it, with a birthday cloth, and a vase of flowers. Kate grinned. Then Rick appeared through the door – carrying a huge tray loaded with food – pancakes and crispy bacon! And a huge pot of coffee. He put it on the table, and looking a lot less worried than he had been when he was holding on it, came over to her.

"Happy Birthday, Beckett."

"Thanks, Castle. And you guys, just... Wow. I have never woken up to a birthday like this."

Shannon smiled. "It was Rick's idea. But Maddie thought of sneaking away and bringing you down to it."

Kate smiled even more.

"D'you want to have breakfast while it's hot, or open your presents?" Maddie asked.

Kate opted for breakfast, and they all sat down at the table, talking and laughing. Rick had made a huge quantity of pancakes, and they were delicious. Kate sipped her coffee, and watched her friends. To her horror, she felt her eyes prickling – she had never had a birthday like this, where she felt so welcome, and so accepted. Rick noticed – he was good at noticing – and he put a hand on her shoulder. She shook her head and smiled, to tell him nothing was wrong. He winked at her, and stuffed a 4-story pancake sandwich into his mouth. She couldn't help but laugh as syrup dripped out of it onto the table, and soon everyone else was laughing too.

Maddie introduced the new boy as Mike. Kate had a feeling Maddie had liked Mike all along. Shannon was sitting next to Javi, and they looked so cute – Kate could hardly stop smiling. Rick whispered in her ear.

"You having fun?"

"It's perfect. Thank you so much Castle," Kate whispered back. He laughed.

"We've hardly started. You haven't even seen your presents yet."

She grinned. "I'm ready to start looking," she said, and since everyone was done eating, they went to look at the gifts.

There were some cards, all from her friends. And there was one from Mr Johnson. She made sure she'd opened them all. She had. She took out her phone, and checked for messages. But there weren't any. Oh well, it was only ten. She'd spoken to her mother since their fight, and everything seemed okay. So she'd send a message later...

She was determined not to worry about it – she was going to have a great day. She hoped Rick hadn't noticed the sadness that had been on her face, and tried to get excited about her presents again.

Shannon and Maddie had joined together and bought her a dress. It was beautiful – Shannon was great at choosing clothes. It was red, and short, but not too short. It would hug her body, but she had just the right curves for it.

"You can wear it la-" began Maddie, but Rick gestured frantically, and she stopped. Kate raised her eyebrows at them, but if they wanted to surprise her, she could cope. She wasn't a huge fan or surprises, but she had a feeling the ones today would be nice.

Jenny gave her an Emeli Sande CD, which she thought was great. The guys had clubbed together too, but they wouldn't give her any clues, and they said their present was outside. Rick had something else for her as well. He told her to close her eyes. She felt him lift up her hair, and fasten something round her neck. She opened them, and saw the necklace. It was a small, plain gold heart, on a simple gold chain. Not too flashy, but still pretty. She put her hand to it, and smiled at him.

"It's because you've had mine since the day I met you," he said. She pulled him into a hug. She hugged everyone else, then Shannon said she had to go upstairs to get something. Kate looked at her curiously. So many secrets today! Rick put his arm around her.

"She's going to meet us outside," said Javi, and he began to lead the way to the back door. When they were just outside, Rick put his hands over her eyes.

"Again?" she said, laughing.

"Well, it was a bit big to wrap," said Mike. Jenny took her hand, and guided her along. She wasn't quite sure where she was – she was trying to keep track, but they were making her turn.

Kate heard some whispering, and she thought she heard Shannon.

"Can I look yet?" she asked.

"Almost," said Rick, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Okay!" Maddie said, and Rick took his hands away. What stood before her were two bikes – pedal bikes, but they were still cool.

"The blue one is yours," Javi explained. "But we were at the second hand bike shop, and we found we had enough money to get another one. It can be for whoever you want to go bike riding with," he said, looking pointedly at Rick.

"Thank you so much!" Kate said, her eyes full of delight. She gave him a big hug, then went to hug Ryan and Mike as well. "It's an awesome present."

"Glad you like it," said Ryan, grinning.

"We should say that there were donations from a lot of other people. The dancers. Even Alice and Lauren."

"Really?"

"Lauren likes you a lot more now you're not with Tom," said Shannon, smiling and tucking her red hair behind her ear. Kate saw Javi watching her. She laughed.

"Can I ride it now?" she asked.

Shannon went around the corner of the shed, and reappeared with two bike helmets. She gave one to Kate, and one to Rick.

"Off you go." She handed Rick a backpack, and produced their jackets as well. "Rick, keep her busy until at least four. Got it?"

Rick smiled. "I knew the plan already."

Shannon laughed. "I was just checking," she said. "Have fun, Katie."

Rick grinned. "Come on Beckett, we know when we're not wanted."

Kate got on her bike. It was even adjusted to the perfect height, and the tyres were pumped up. She put on her jacket and helmet, and Rick got on the other one.

"Wait," Kate said as they were about to start. "Aren't we supposed to stay here still?"

"I asked Mr Johnson," said Maddie, "And he said just for today, as long as you're back by six, which you will be, and you don't do anything too stupid, or too sensible."

Kate laughed. "That sounds like Mr Johnson," she said. She pushed the bike off, and Rick followed her – soon they were racing along the road. Kate didn't think she'd ever been this happy. Her mother popped into her head. She wondered why there'd still been no message. Not from her Dad either. It was really weird. But she put it out of her mind. Rick was overtaking her – and she had to do something about that!

_**Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it :-). Tell your friends? :P Love to you all, hugs n loveballs Z xxx**_


	22. Chapter 22

**They cycled into town**, and through the park. Once they were off the road, they went side by side. Rick took one hand off the handlebars, and reached out to Kate. She laughed, and took hold of his hand, and they rode together. She remembered when they had first been to the park, and wondered why she had waited at all to be with Rick.

They ate lunch sitting on the swings. It was quite cold. Kate shivered, and Rick shrugged off his own jacket and put it around her as well. She protested, but he just laughed, and told her he didn't feel the cold.

In the afternoon, they went to a little coffee shop, and just chatted. Rick bought her a cupcake, but told her not to tell the others, because she was getting a proper cake later. She grinned.

"Isn't it supposed to be a surprise?" she asked.

He winked. "Most of it will be."

Kate leaned on his shoulder – they were sitting together in a booth. She looked at her phone again.

"Still not heard from them?" Rick asked.

Kate shook her head.

"Don't worry. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation."

"Yeah..." said Kate, but she wasn't convinced. Rick hugged her tighter. He knew how she felt. He had heard from his mother now, but he still didn't know where she was.

"Sometimes I think we're more like the parents," he said.

Kate nodded, smiling. Rick looked at his own phone.

"Well, Beckett, it's ten to four. We can go back now. Are you ready?"

"Ready?" she asked, smiling.

"I'm saying nothing. Come on," he said, getting up and pulling her along. They went outside, got their bikes, and began cycling back. Kate managed to feel pretty great – Rick was right. There would be a perfectly reasonable explanation. She had nothing to worry about.

They locked the bikes in the shed when they got back to school, and Rick led her straight up to her room. Her dress was laid out on the bed.

"Put that on, then come to my room."

"I'm being bossed around a lot today, considering it's my birthday."

"Oh, you pretend you don't, but you like it. It's a nice change for you."

"Kiss me," she said in a commanding tone. Rick mock-bowed, kissed her gently, then left the room.

Kate took a quick shower, did her hair, then got changed. She put on her black heels, and kept wearing the necklace Rick had given her. She looked at herself in the mirror of her closet door. She looked good. Better than good. The dress suited her. She put on lipstick to match, and eye make up. Her eyes were pretty striking anyway – now they stood out even more.

She looked at her phone one more time. Still nothing. She sighed, and wondered if Rick would put it in his pocket for her.

She went to his room. He was dressed up too. He almost gasped when he saw he. She loved that she had that effect on him. He took her phone and put it in his pocket, still staring at her.

"I really want to kiss you, but I'm afraid to smudge the lipstick."

"Smudge away," she said, grinning. He didn't need telling twice.

She sorted herself out in his mirror, then linked her arm with his to go downstairs. He led her to the main hall, and threw open the door.

It was Kate's turn to gasp. All her friends were there – the whole dance group, and everyone she had been getting to know. There was music playing, and there were hundreds of balloons. They'd done something with the lights, so they were all different colours. She and Rick were pulled into the middle of the crowd, and everyone was congratulating her. She didn't think she'd ever smiled so much. Or been hugged so much.

She danced with Rick, but mostly people were dancing in a big crowd. At about eight, the music stopped. The door opened, and Maddie appeared carrying a huge chocolate cake. Everyone began to sing, and Kate blushed. She wasn't too keen on being the centre of so much attention. Maddie put the cake down on a table, and Kate went over and hugged her.

"Thank you, thank you all so much!" she said, smiling.

Maddie handed her a knife, and she was about to cut when Rick tapped her on the shoulder. He held out her phone.

"You're ringing," he said with a smile. Kate saw the caller ID. It was her mother. Everyone politely went quiet, and Kate moved to the edge of the room.

"Hi," she said, answering.

"Hi honey, just let me say I am so, so sorry. We had to go visit someone for this case we're doing, and crazy country, there was no phone service all day. Your father wanted to leave just so we could call you-"

"Oh, Mom, it's okay. I'm just glad to hear your voice. I was worried."

"Oh you poor thing. I'm sorry sweetie."

"It's okay, really."

"Well. Happy Birthday, Katie. Have you had a good day?"

Kate began telling her mother everything that had happened. Then she had to repeat it all when her father came on the phone. They said her present was already in the mail.

"It'll arrive tomorrow," her Dad said. "Or I'll have a complaint to make to this Royal Mail that they have over here."

Kate laughed. "Don't worry about it. Thanks for calling."

"Thank you for forgiving us. Have a great evening," her father said. They said their goodbyes, and Kate went back to the party. Rick saw the huge smile on her face.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Great," she said. "You were right. There was an explanation. They were really nice."

"Good," he said. She kissed him, and he pulled her into his arms.

"It really has been the perfect day," she said.

The party had to end fairly early, since they had school in the morning, but it had been wonderful. Rick walked her to her room, kissing her goodnight before going back to his own. When he was gone, Kate went inside, flicking the door locked while she got changed.

And then she was slammed against it. Stunned, she tried to struggle out of the grip that held her.

"Happy Birthday, Kate," said Tom, before crushing his lips against her.

_**Sorry. I seem to have an aversion to perfection... Thanks for reading, please review, the next chapter will be up in a matter of hours I hope. Love you, Z xxx**_


	23. Chapter 23

**_This chapter contains material which some readers might find disturbing - I am very sorry if you do, it is ALL fictional and things will get better._**

**She tried to scream,** but as soon as he took his mouth away, he replaced it with his hand. She fought as hard as she could, but she was pinned against the door. He used the hand that wasn't over her mouth to rip of the necklace that Rick had given her. Her eyes filled with tears. She knew what was going to happen. She didn't think she could beat him.

He pushed up her skirt. She pressed her legs together, but her heels meant her balance was a little off. He tugged at her panties.

Then there was a knock on the door. Tom kept his hand pressed against her mouth.

"Kate?"

It was Rick.

"Kate, you there?"

He tried the handle. Kate reached out, trying to unlock the door, but Tom grabbed her wrist so hard more tears sprung out of his eyes. She forced herself to think. She was smart, and strong. She had to do something. But Rick was leaving.

When he was gone, Tom began tugging off her dress. She was shaking. He kept his hand over her mouth and pushed her down on the bed, and his weight on top of her forcing her legs apart a fraction. Her head was spinning. She HAD to do something. She was not going to be a victim. She got her hands free from under him, and began hitting him. She might not be as strong as him, but she wasn't weak. He began to get angry, and she thought he might hit her. All she needed him to do was take his hand away from her mouth. He didn't. But his grip loosened a fraction. She bit him, tasting his blood in her mouth. Shocked, he took his hand away, and she screamed as loud as she could, trying to get out from under him. He slapped her, cutting her lip, but she screamed again, hitting him, scratching him with her nails, making as much noise as she could.

Shannon was at the door – her room was closest.

"Kate? Kate, are you okay?"

Kate tried to yell, but Tom was doing all he could to stop her. She managed to hit her lamp of her night table, making a loud crash. Shannon started banging on the door.

"The door's locked, Kate," she said, sounding panicked. "I'm going to go get a teacher or something."

At this, Tom suddenly stopped. He let go of her, got off the bed, and ran from the room. Kate lay still, exhausted and completely in shock. She was only wearing the remnants of her dress. She tried to cover herself with a blanket, but she was still shaking. She hurt all over – her wrist hurt so much she thought it might be broken. She wasn't crying any more. She didn't have the energy.

Shannon arrived back, and banged on the door again. It opened. She saw Kate lying on the bed, her face covered in tears and blood, and she nearly screamed herself. Miss Wilson had been on night duty, and Kate saw her in the doorway. Shannon pulled the blanket over her properly, and Miss Wilson went to call the police, and an ambulance. Kate tried to say she was okay, but Miss Wilson would have none of it.

"Shannon," she said. "Please help Kate get dressed. Then get dressed yourself, I think you should go with her."

She came closer to the bed. "Kate," she said gently. "I need you to tell me who did this."

Kate whispered Tom's name, still shaking. Miss Wilson had an expression of extreme disgust.

"Alright. Shannon, I'm going to have to wait here for the police. Stay with Kate at the hospital. And when you're there, call her parents and get them to come. Shannon nodded. Miss Wilson left, and Kate was vaguely aware of Shannon helping her to pull on a hoodie, some sweat pants and ugg boots. She picked up Kate's phone – it was on the floor, Kate had dropped it when she got in – and saw the necklace. She picked it up and put it in her pocket, so she could get it fixed.

Kate didn't think she needed an ambulance, and she managed to walk, with the help of the medic, rather than being carried on a stretcher. Once in the ambulance, she was strapped into the bed. The medic began asking Shannon questions about her; she was still too shaken up to speak. Then they began to radio things to the hospital. She didn't think there was much wrong with her. Well her wrist, maybe... Mostly it was emotional. She had realised Tom wasn't the nicest guy – but she would never have believed him capable of what he had just done to her.

It kept replaying, over and over in her head, like a horror movie that wouldn't turn off. And what might have happened, if Shannon hadn't heard. What he had been so close to doing. She was glad Rick wasn't there to see her. She shivered, and the medic looked at her kindly.

"It's going to be okay, Kate. We'll get you all fixed up."

Even her name, thinking about him saying her name... Shannon took her good hand and held it gently.

"You want me to call your Mom?"

Kate croaked out a yes. Her throat hurt from screaming, and her mouth still tasted like Tom's blood. Every time she closed her eyes he saw him, looming over her, pressing her into the bed as he... She snapped her eyes open, and looked at the roof of the abulance.

"We're almost there," said the medic, whose name was Emma. "We'll wheel you in. Shannon's going to have to wait while they examine you, but it'll be okay. And if it's alright, I'll find out where you are and come and see you when you're all bandaged up."

"Please do," Kate murmured. She felt the ambulance stopping, and Shannon squeezed her hand.

"You're going to be fine," Shannon said, but her eyes said something different. She took Kate's phone and called her mother's number, watching as her friend was wheeled out of the ambulance and into the hospital.

"Hello?" said a groggy voice.

"Hello, Mrs Beckett?"

"Speaking. Who is this? Do you know what time it is?"

"Sorry. I'm Kate's friend Shannon."

"Wait, who? Is Kate okay?" Johanna immediately sounded more alert at the mention of her daughter.

"Shannon. And no, she's not okay. She's in the hospital..."

Shannon went on to explain where the hospital was, and how to get there. She could hear Johanna moving in the background, waking up her husband and going out to the car.

"We'll be there in two hours," she said, hanging up the phone as she drove off. Shannon made her way to the waiting room. She went to the desk and was told Katherine Beckett was still with the doctor, so she sat down on an uncomfortable plastic chair, put the phone in her pocket, and tried not to cry.

Kate was shaking when they took her off the stretcher and put her on a bed. Emma had to leave, and a young female doctor appeared. She introduced herself as Dr Jones, but said to call her Liz. Kate managed to nod.

"Now, Kate, I need you to tell me what happened."

Kate just shook her head. Liz looked understanding.

"Alright. But you will have to. From the sounds of things, you're going to be telling the police, too."

Kate wanted to bite her lip, but it would hurt too much. Liz looked her up and down.

"What hurts most?"

Kate thought about it. She felt as though every bone in her body was broken, but she knew they weren't.

"My wrist," she said quietly. Liz looked at it. It was very swollen. She gently touched it, and Kate gasped with pain.

"Broken," Liz said with a frown. She began looking at Kate's lesser injuries. She looked awful. The right side of her face was puffy and swollen, and her lip was split. When she took off the sweater, Liz saw bruises and scratches all over Kate's body. Most of them were minor, but the quantity was horrifying. She helped Kate into a hospital gown.

"We're going to x-ray your wrist. It looks like a bad break, so you'll probably have to go under a general anaesthetic for us to set it. Now, Kate, I have to ask you, because I know what kind of case this is, did he rape you?"

Kate shuddered at the word. She tried to keep calm – she had just stopped shaking.

"I...I don't...he had his hand..I don't know," she said, wincing at the memory.

"While you're under anaesthetic, do you want me to find out?"

Kate nodded, tears beginning to pour down her cheeks. Liz took her good hand.

"He will pay for what he did to you. And you are going to be okay."

Kate felt as if she was in a trance while she was led to a room for the x-ray and while they cleaned her up as they waited for the theatre. Liz stayed with her the whole time, being kind and friendly. Kate was glad that she wasn't alone. Her face was just bruised – everything but the wrist would heal on its own. Everything on the outside.

When it was time for her to go into theatre, Liz took her hand again.

"When you wake up, you might be disorientated. There'll be someone with you, and they'll get me."

Kate nodded.

"Just relax, now," Liz said, and Kate tried to, but she couldn't. She felt the drugs seeping into her, making her eyelids heavy. She was glad they were knocking her out. Part of her wished she would never wake up again.

_**Thanks for reading, please review. Constructive criticism is also welcome. xox**_


	24. Chapter 24

Shannon was almost asleep in the waiting room when Kate's phone woke her. She took it out, and looked at it. There was a message from Rick.

_Where are you Beckett? Xx_

Shannon wondered whether to answer. Then there was another message.

_The police are here! Is there something you're not telling me? ;-) xx_

Shannon started at the phone. He had no idea. She didn't want to be the one to tell me.

_Ok Kate, getting a little worried – it's been ten minutes and you're not back to your room. Did you go to mine? Xx_

And then another one, a minute later.

_You're not at mine, or back at yours. Where are you? xx_

Shannon wanted to cry, thinking about how he would feel. And how Kate was feeling! She wondered if she should say something to stop him worrying. Then the phone started ringing. It was Rick. She took a deep, shaky breath, and answered.

"Kate?" he said immediately.

"No, Rick, it's Shannon."

"Oh. Hi Shannon. Where's Kate?"

"She's, uhm-"

"Shan, you sound awful."

Shannon shivered. "Yeah. We're at the hospital."

"What?!"

"She's okay. I mean, I think she is. The police are here because- I don't know, it's- She's in surgery. Miss Wilson told me to come here with her. I've been waiting about two hours."

"She's in surgery?"

"It's just her wrist. And that's not really the worst... Look, Rick, I..."

"I'm coming. Now. How do you get there?"

Shannon explained, and Rick hung up, saying he was coming. He still didn't know. He hadn't made the connection about the police, his worry for Kate had pushed it completely out of his head. Which was good. Shannon realised he would come on his motorbike. It was 2.30am. She hoped he would drive safely.

Rick ran back to his room and pulled on some clothes and shoes. He grabbed his wallet – the bike was low on gas. Then he ran downstairs, ignoring the police and everyone in the hallway, not caring what was going on. He just needed to be with Kate.

He put on his helmet. He was driving too fast, but he didn't care. The hospital was quite far – Shannon had said the ambulance took about 40 minutes. He wondered fleetingly why she'd needed an ambulance for a broken wrist, and the worry that arrived in his mind got stronger and stronger. He got to the hospital in half an hour, including a stop to buy gas, and ran in the front door. The receptionist looked at him.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Katherine Beckett," he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Are you a relative?"

"No. I'm her boyfriend."

"I'm sorry, I can't give away that information to anyone except her parents."

Rick slammed his hand down on the desk. He had to find her. He called Shannon again.

"Where are you?"

She told him the room number, and when the receptionist was looking at her computer, he ran down the corridor to find her, trying not to think about the hitch in her voice.

Shannon saw Rick coming, and wondered how to tell him. Kate was still in theatre. At least he wasn't at school any more – if he'd found out when he'd still been in the same building as Tom... She stood up as he arrived, and he went straight over to her.

"She's still in theatre..." Shannon started. Rick could tell from her voice that something was badly wrong – something much bigger than a broken wrist.

"What happened?" Rick demanded, staring straight at her.

Shannon looked at the floor. "I don't know exactly," she said as tears began to form in her eyes.

Rick tried to keep his breathing steady. He knew something terrible was going on.

"Tell me everything you do know," he said.

Shannon looked up at him, at his kind worried face. He really loved Kate – it was obvious.

"It was after the party. I'd done some clearing up, and gone to bed – I was mostly asleep. And then I heard screaming. It was Kate. So I got up and ran to her room but her door was locked. I banged on it, and she just kept on screaming. Then the screaming stopped. I thought maybe she was having a dream. But I could hear, like, scuffling or something. And then there was a crash, and I said I was going to get a teacher. But when I got back with Miss Wilson..."

She was properly crying now. Rick put his arm around her, but his voice stayed firm.

"I need you to tell me, Shannon."

"The door was open. She was lying on the bed. Her dress was all torn, and it was obvious she'd been attacked and beaten up. She was in shock, she couldn't speak, she was just shaking – she could barely breathe. Miss Wilson told me to stay with her and get her dressed, while she called an ambulance, and the police. And she asked Kate who did it. And Kate said it was Tom."

Rick was shaking himself.

"Tom?" he asked through gritted teeth. "I don't believe it. Even that bastard..."

Shannon shook her head. "That's what the police are there for. He's going to jail."

Rick shuddered.

"Did he..?" He couldn't even bring himself to say it.

"I don't know. He definitely tried – but she fought back and..." her voice trailed off. She couldn't bear to think about it.

Rick sat in silent disbelief. He thought of Kate, and how much he cared about her, and how things had just been starting to go right in her life. He wanted to see her, to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright – but even if he could, how would she ever believe him now?

They saw a couple walk into the waiting room and go up to the desk. Rick knew they would be Kate's parents even before he heard the American accents as they asked after their daughter. The woman behind the desk told them she was out of theatre, but recovering – she wouldn't wake up for another hour or so. She then pointed out Shannon, saying she was the girl who had come in with Kate.

Johanna walked over to the pretty redhead, and introduced herself and her husband.

"I'm Johanna Beckett. You called me?"

"Yes.. I'm Kate's friend, Shannon. And this is her boyfriend, Rick."

"The motorcycle boy?"

Rick nodded. He was still in shock. And trembling with anger.

Johanna walked with Shannon to a different corner, while her husband sat beside Rick.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked.

Shannon took a deep breath, and started to tell the story all over again. By the end, both she and Johanna were crying.

"My poor baby," Johanna said to herself. "I should never have let her out of my sight, I... Maybe I didn't pay enough attention to her, and didn't look after her enough..."

"No," Shannon said firmly. "The only person to blame for this is Tom Demming. You mustn't blame yourself. Kate's going to need you when she wakes up."

Johanna dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "You're right." Her voice became stronger. "And I will make sure this Demming," she said it like a curse word, "goes to jail for as long as possible. I hope he rots in there until he dies and rots in hell!"

Her husband, Jim, looked up as he heard her voice was raised. He looked at Rick, but Rick said nothing. He went over to the two women, asking what had happened. Johanna told Shannon to go back and sit with Rick while she explained.

A minute later there was an anguished yell from Jim. He took the car keys from his wife.

"I'm going to the school. If the police are still there, I want to talk to them. I want to talk to the teacher. And I want to see that boy and look him in the eye, and tell him that there are two brilliant lawyers right here who will not stop until he is locked up for the rest of his disgusting little life."

With that he stormed out of the room. Johanna knew there was nothing she could do to stop him. She would have gone with him – but she needed to stay for her daughter. She went to sit with Shannon and Rick, and wondered what was going through their heads. They were just children. And they loved Kate. She didn't even want to think about what would be happening to Kate's mind. She found herself dreading when the sedatives wore off, just on her daughters behalf. She had enough experience to know that it would take a long time before Kate wanted to be awake again.

_**Thanks for reading, please review xo**_


	25. Chapter 25

**Kate opened her eyes slowly, feeling groggy and completely disorientated. **She blinked, and saw the hospital room around her, and all the memories came flooding back. She gasped, and began to shake. She looked around and saw a nurse, who was looking back at her with an expression of great pity. The nurse came over, and tried to smile.

"I'll go and get Liz," she said gently. Kate was unable to speak. She looked at her left arm – it was in a cast up to the elbow. It hurt a bit. But her head felt like it was going to explode. She wished it would.

Liz appeared in the doorway, looking kind of tired. Kate realised it must be the middle of the night. Liz sat in the chair by her bed. She was holding a file. Kate knew that what was in that file would determine a lot of things. She looked at Liz with one question in her mind.

"He didn't..." Liz began. Kate felt her eyes flood with tears – and they were tears of relief, but they soon turned into tears of despair. It had been so close. And what he had done to her filled her head like a horror movie that she would relive over and over. Liz continued to speak gently.

"Your wrist is the only injury that will take very long to heal. The scratches and bruises will be almost gone in a week or so. But you might want to consider-"

"I don't want to see a shrink," Kate said firmly. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about what happened with someone that she didn't know.

Liz nodded. "Well, if you change your mind, just ask. You'll have to come back in seven weeks to get the cast off. Just in time for Christmas," she smiled.

Kate nodded.

"Do you want anything? Something to eat or drink?"

"I don't suppose you can knock me out again? And I guess vodka isn't on the menu?"

Liz smiled sympathetically. "You guess correctly."

"In that case, uhm, water?"

"Coming right up. Who do you want to see? Your mother is here, and your friend Shannon is still waiting. And," she frowned, "a boy, Rick. He didn't-"

"No! Rick's here? He's my boyfriend," she said. As she said it, she wondered how she would ever think of kissing him again without thinking about... Liz must have seen it on her face.

"How about just your mother first?"

Kate nodded gratefully. "I'll send her in with the water."

Kate nodded, and lay back on the bed. When she closed her eyes, she still saw him. She kept them open, and stared at the light on the ceiling above her. They'd put her in a private room.

Johanna walked into the room, almost dreading what she would see. She tried not to gasp when she saw her daughter – Kate was covered in bruises; her body looked completely battered. Johanna almost dropped the water. She went to sit in the chair beside her daughter's bed, trying not to start crying again at the sight of her.

"Hi Mom," Kate said, purely because someone had to speak first.

"Hi, honey," her mother replied. She didn't ask if Kate was okay. She knew the answer. She took hold of her good hand, and squeezed it.

She spoke without uncertainty – she valued honesty, and she was always down to earth. "I don't think there's anything anyone can say to make this better. But anything I can do to make things easier, I'll do. If you prosecute, your father and I will make sure he gets the worst punishment possible. If you want, we'll go back to New York – or anywhere you want. I can work shorter hours and be there for you if that's what you need. I know it won't be enough – but let me help you however I can."

Kate nodded, and smiled at her mother. They might not always be the best of friends – but when she needed someone to fight for her, she had the perfect person.

"I want to prosecute," she said firmly. "And I think... I think I want to stay here."

"Stay here?" Johanna couldn't hide the surprise from her voice.

Kate thought about it. "Yeah. I have friends here. And I have Rick."

"Motorcycle boy?"

Kate smiled. "Motorcycle man." And then she smiled more. She thought it would have been months before she could smile. And she hadn't even tried. Johanna saw the smile, and realised her daughter was far stronger and braver than she had ever imagined.

"Well," Johanna said, "if you want to stay, you'll stay."

Kate nodded. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For not wrapping me up in cotton wool. For letting me choose."

"I trust you," Johanna said simply. Kate saw the pain on her face, and realised something.

"He didn't... He didn't rape me, Mom. He tried, but I stopped him. I may not have put up much of a fight – but at least I did that."

Kate could see the relief wash over her mother. But it was short lived.

"He may not have... But what he did to you, it's just as bad. And in the eyes of the law, it's just as bad."

Kate nodded. "But I have something, at least. Something to hold on to."

Johanna pulled her into a hug.

"I love you so much. And I have always been proud of you. Don't retreat inside yourself, okay? Don't hide anything – you don't have to be strong for me."

Kate felt the hurt inside her, and the memory. She wondered if she could keep this up. Then she saw that there was someone in the doorway. Rick was standing there, his tear stained face reddening with anger at the sight of her.

"I won't," she said to her mother.

"Did you kill him, Rick?" she asked.

Rick looked stunned. He didn't even know if she was joking. He didn't know what she was trying to do.

"No," he said. "But I-"

"Don't. I'm glad you didn't. This is my mother, Johanna."

"We've met," Rick said, trying to calm down as he went into the room.

"Oh. Good." She smiled.

"How are you smiling?" Rick couldn't stop himself from saying.

"I don't know. Shock, drugs... Could be either. And also because... Because he didn't manage. Because I fought him and I won a little, and I'm going to win more. He is going to jail. I'm stronger than I thought."

Rick stared at her. "He didn't...?"

"I'm still a virgin for you, Rick," Kate said, and he had to laugh at that. Especially because Johanna was in the room. She smiled too.

"I think this is my cue to leave. I'll be outside," she said.

Rick took her place on the chair by the bed. "I think I need some of these drugs that they're giving you," he said.

"They are pretty good," she said. "And also... If I let myself slip, I have this feeling like I'll fall into a pit and I'll never be able to climb out. And I don't want to be in a pit. That would mean he had won. And I have so many good things in my life."

Rick thought he understood. "I think I'm not too far from the edge myself."

"That's okay. We're always on the edge. Just don't jump," she said, catching his eye. "Because we have a lot of great things ahead of us."

Rick sighed. "I can't believe you're the one comforting me," he said.

"Life's weird. You don't know what happened – you never will. That's only in my head. And it's finite. But for you, it's the worst you can imagine. I think it's harder for you."

Rick shook his head. "You don't have to be so strong. You can lean on me."

"I like being strong. I don't want to be a Victim. This is not going to define my life. Or even my birthday. Which was wonderful, by the way." She shuddered, but hid it. Rick noticed, and worry flashed across his face. She saw it.

"Okay, maybe you can pull me back every now and then," she said gently. "Tell jokes or something."

"Tell jokes?" Rick said as if this were the most absurd idea in the world. Kate laughed.

"You're always being funny. Be funny."

Rick stared at her. "I can't just be funny."

"I managed earlier. Don't be a wimp."

He laughed. "Don't call me a wimp."

"I'll call you a wimp if you're being one."

He laughed again. They sat talking about nothing in particular until Kate was tired, and had to sleep again. Rick said he would sit with her, but she told him to leave. He agreed, reluctantly, and went out to see Johanna and Shannon, who were talking in the waiting room. And they had coffee. The door closed behind him.

He didn't see the anguish that covered Kate's face as soon as he was gone.

_**Thanks for reading, and for all the wonderful reviews. They really mean so much to me. Please keep writing what you think - even if you don't like it, I want to know. Take care, lots of love, Z xxx**_


	26. Chapter 26

**Rick went over to **Johanna and Shannon. He smiled as well as he could.

"I think... I think she's going to be okay."

Johanna nodded. "Then you have to be too. Because if she's anything like me, this is an act. A good one, and one she'll keep up. But an act all the same. She'll even be convincing herself, most of the time. But she needs you there. And I need you there, to watch her."

Rick nodded. Johanna was pretty intense. He could see why Kate sometimes felt like she didn't have much of a mother. But it was clear they loved each other.

"Thank you, Rick."

"That's okay. I'm doing it for Kate. I'd do anything for her."

Johanna smiled. "Maybe you're not as bad as I thought."

"Maybe I'm not bad at all," he said, looking her in the eye.

"You took her out of school, to ride your motorcycle to God knows where-"

"She wanted to go. I gave her a nice day, when she needed one. Badly."

Johanna paused. She wasn't used to being interrupted.

"Alright. You argue a good point. But if you get her into trouble again, there will be consequences."

Rick nodded. Johanna was kind of scary.

"I'll keep her safe," he said.

Johanna smiled. "I can see why she likes you?"

"What?" he said, surprised.

"There's a twinkle in your eye. An edge to you. Your not as pathetic as you first appear."

"Thanks," said Rick, laughing.

"Honestly, I did think it at first it was all about the motorcycle."

Rick grinned. "I think that did have a lot to do with me winning her."

Johanna laughed. "I can see how it might have. But winning her – there was someone else?"

Rick nodded, disgust appearing on his face. "Yeah. It was him."

Johanna gasped. "The boy who...?"

He nodded again. "I don't know why she was ever with him. But I also didn't see anything wrong with him, until the day she broke up with him. And that day, so did she."

Johanna nodded. She was already forming the case in her mind.

"And when was all of this?"

"Wednesday."

"Oh, so recent. I thought, when I spoke to her on Tuesday, that you two must be a couple."

"No. She was still with Tom. I mean, right now, she's not exactly with me. But then again, she's sort of been with me since the day we met. I know she's wanted to be – and I definitely wanted to be with her. She said she was with _him _because she was afraid that I would leave."

Johanna looked surprised. "Why would she be afraid of that?"

Rick paused. There was no reason not to tell her. "My mother is an actress. She doesn't stay in one place very long – I've travelled all over the world with her."

Johanna saw the worry in his face. "Do you think you'll have to move?"

"I don't know. I haven't heard much from my mother in a while. She was in London, she sent me a message saying she wasn't, but not to worry, and that's all. She sometimes manages to answer my texts. I'm more worried about her, than worried that I'll have to move on – I'm eighteen."

Johanna nodded. "Being a parent is difficult. But she should look after you – you shouldn't have to be worrying about her."

"I think that's why I'm at St. James'," he said with a rueful smile.

"Isn't eighteen quite old for lower 6th?"

Rick nodded. "I'm a bit behind with school, but I wanted to the grades for college, so they put me in this year."

"It sounds like you've been through a lot of what Kate has. No wonder you two were drawn to each other."

Rick smiled. "Yeah. I just hope she still wants to be with me, or be with anyone, now. It must be hard to trust..."

Johanna smiled at him. "I think she'll see that you're a different species to the monster that did to her."

_Kate was lying in her room, snuggled up next to Rick. He bent down to kiss her, and soon she was underneath him. He began to unbutton her top, and she smiled. She loved him so much. Then he moved up to kiss her again – but she saw Tom's face. She screamed._

"_What's wrong, Beckett?" He was speaking with Rick's voice._

"_Tom?"_

"_Tom? Who's Tom?" he asked, moving down to kiss her again. She wriggled out from under him and tried to leave the room, but the door was locked. Tom followed her, and started kissing her again._

_"Come on Katie, we're together now. I love you," he said as he tried to take her shirt from her._

"_No!" she shouted, and began to bang on the door. _

_And then he didn't even have Rick's voice. He pushed her against the door, grunting. She began to cry – it must be a dream, it wasn't real, she had to wake up-_

"Kate?"

It was Shannon.

"H-hey Shan."

"Are you okay? You were crying..."

"It was just a dream," she said hurriedly, rubbing her eyes. "I'm fine."

Shannon looked at her with concern. "Well, if you need to talk..."

Kate nodded. "But..."

"What?"

"Don't tell Rick, okay? Or my Mom. They both have enough to worry about."

Shannon shook her head. "They're already worrying about you. If you pretend like everything's fine, they won't be able to help. But, fine, I won't tell them."

Kate smiled. "Thanks. And, really, it was just a dream. I feel much better now already."

"Right," Shannon said slowly. "They caught Tom. Your Dad was there..."

Kate looked worried. "It's okay, he didn't do anything. He drove Miss Wilson here – she wanted to make sure you're okay. And Mr Johnson knows what happened now."

Kate nodded.

"You'll have to talk to the police, when we go back to school. They're waiting. I have to as well. And Rick."

Kate nodded again. She looked hard at her friend. "Will you keep another secret for me?"

Shannon nodded. "Anything."

Kate took a deep breath. "When Tom was- in my room... Rick was outside. For a bit. He knocked on the door. But Tom had his hand over my mouth and I couldn't make a sound – I tried to unlock the door, that's when he grabbed my wrist. Rick must have thought I was already asleep."

Shannon stared at her open mouthed.

"He can't find out, Shan. He has to think I was asleep, and I got up to go to the bathroom, and left the door unlocked when I came back... He can't find out he was outside."

Shannon frowned. "I understand. But – won't he find out? You have to tell the police the truth, and your Mom. And the police'll also want to talk to Rick, especially considering what you just told me."

Kate bit her lip. "I just know he'll take it badly. I mostly cope with stuff inside – and I am not going to let this mess up my life or my relationship. I'm just worried that it might mess things up for him. And I couldn't cope with that."

Shannon sighed. "It's so awful. I still can't believe it. And especially to you – you're so nice, I didn't think it was possible that anyone would try to hurt you."

"I don't think Lauren likes me much. Or Alice," Kate said, with a small smile.

Shannon laughed. "They're just jealous, because you're prettier than they are, and the gorgeous American fancies you and not either of them. But they don't think you're a bad person."

Kate smiled. "You're too kind to me. Well, I don't think I have to stay any more – it's Monday morning now."

"Yeah, seven am."

"Long night," Kate commented.

"You could put it like that," Shannon said, wondering how Kate was keeping such a brave face, when she was hurting so much inside.

"It's the only way, Shan," Kate said, answering the unspoken question. "You won't tell Rick?"

"I won't. But maybe you should talk to him."

"I think that's inevitable, really. I hope I can think of something to say."

"I'm sure he'll be great about it. He's a good guy."

"An amazing guy."

Shannon laughed. "I think you're in love with him."

"Then that's yet another secret for you to keep." Kate smiled. "So. Time to go back to school. I was sure that the first time I'd be interviewed by the cops would be for something I'd done wrong."

Shannon picked up her clothes. Kate looked at them apprehensively.

"I'm going to have a fun one-handed seven weeks."

Shannon laughed. "I think Rick will cope."

Kate threw a pillow at her, and got out of bed. She avoided looking in the bathroom mirror as she got dressed. When she came out, a now-crying Shannon pulled her into a hug. After the initial surprise, Kate hugged back.

"It's okay, Shan," she said to her tearful friend. "I'm going to be okay."

_**Thanks for reading XD Please review, sending you loads of love and hugs, Z xxx**_


	27. Chapter 27

**As soon as he saw her walking out of her room, **Rick was at Kate's side. Shannon went to speak to Johanna, and Rick put his arm gently around Kate. He was treating her as though she was made of china. She smiled at him, and hugged him more tightly.

"I'm still me, Castle," she whispered in his ear. He tightened his grip around her.

"I know. I just.. I can't.."

"I know," she said, leaning on his shoulder. "But we have to."

He nodded. "I can do it. For you. But if I see him again I'll-"

"Walk right on past with your head held high."

He laughed. "How do you know I wasn't going to say that?"

She laughed too. "I don't. But I was just making sure."

He smiled. "You're perfect."

"So are you. Right."

She didn't want to tell him, but she knew she should. She was terrified of going over everything again with the police. She was going to have to tell them everything. She was going to have to relive it all. She bit her lip.

"You don't have to talk to them yet," Rick said, realising what was wrong."

"I think I do. I have to if I want him to be put away."

Rick nodded. "You're so brave. You'll manage. And we have to talk about something else."

Kate looked at him. "What?"

"When did he come into your room?"

Kate was surprised he had thought of it, but when she thought about it, it had been pretty likely that he would. And now she had to tell him the truth.

"He was waiting for me when I first went in there. He broke my wrist when I tried to let you in."

Rick looked as if he had been expecting this. "I'm so sorry-" he began.

"Don't be. There is only one person to blame for what happened, and that is Tom. It's not your fault. I would have thought I was asleep too. And no one saved me."

"Shannon got in."

"Tom opened the door."

Rick looked as though he wanted to argue for much longer, but Kate smiled at him.

"I didn't want you to know. But it means you can say he locked me in, and it was weird. And also... I'm glad you weren't involved. You would have done something. I would have wanted you to. But really it would have made things worse."

Rick pulled her to his chest and kissed the top of her head. "I would happily go to jail for you."

"But I wouldn't be happy if you were in jail," she said simply.

They managed to fit Rick's bike in the trunk of Johanna's car, by leaving it open but tying it down. They were about to leave when a young woman ran towards them.

"Kate?" she said.

"Emma!" Kate replied.

Emma smiled. "You look much better."

Kate smiled back. "I feel much better. We have to go talk to the police..."

Emma frowned. "Me too, I think."

Johanna nodded. "Yes, you will. I'll ask you to be a witness, too. I'll be taking my daughter's case."

"Of course I'll be a witness. Well, I have to go, but they told me you were leaving and I wanted to catch you before you did."

Kate smiled again. "Thanks. And thanks for looking after me."

"It's my job," Emma replied. "I guess I'll see you, then."

Johanna gave her a business card. "My number's on there. Call me."

"I will," Emma said.

Shannon got in the front of the car, and Kate sat in the back with Rick, leaning against him, trying to relax. He could feel her tense body on his shoulder, and began to stroke her hair, trying to soothe her. He was tense himself.

Johanna drove slowly. Part of her wanted to turn around and drive these kids in the opposite direction, away from all the stress and pain that awaited them at school. But she knew she couldn't. She wished she could protect her daughter, and take away the memories that would be with her for the rest of her life. But that was impossible too. The only thing she could do was make one hell of a case against the animal who had done this to her, and make sure he was put away for as long as possible. It wasn't enough.

She looked in the rear view mirror at the couple sitting in the back of her car. They were both staring straight ahead with glazed over eyes. But then Rick said something to Kate, and they actually looked alive. Hurt, but alive. So there was hope.

All too soon, she pulled up in the school car park. She hugged her daughter when they got out of the car.

"Just tell the police the truth – exactly what happened. Don't change anything, or say anything differently. Don't hide how you feel about it, but don't fake anything."

Kate nodded. "Okay. I'm... I don't want to even think about it."

Johanna hugged her tighter. "I know honey, I know. I'll be right beside you."

Kate held on to her mother, wishing she was a little child again so she could curl up in her arms and feel protected from the world.

Shannon and Rick had been getting the bike out of the car. Javi appeared from the building, running towards them.

"Shan! What the hell's going on? I woke up with the police here, and everyone saying Tom had been arrested and you, Rick and Kate were in the hospital..."

Shannon took his hand. "It's okay. We're all okay, I think. I'll tell you about it later."

He agreed reluctantly, and helped with the bike.

"Is that Kate's Mum?" he asked, looking at the woman who was hugging Kate.

Shannon nodded.

"Wow," said Javi. "I thought, from what people said, that they didn't get on."

"We don't," said Johanna, appearing behind him. "But we do love each other. And when it counts, we're best friends too."

Kate smiled. "I think we get along fine. I only get mad when you're being dumb and overprotective."

Johanna laughed at her daughter. "And I only get mad when you're being immature and irresponsible." She put her arm around Kate, and Javi laughed.

"You two are kind of cute."

"That's what I thought," Rick said, smiling. Johanna smiled at him. "I think all mothers love their children more than anything in the world. They just have different ways of showing it."

The bike was in the shed, and the car was all locked up.

"I think we have to go in now..." Kate said quietly. Johanna stood on her left with her arm around her, Rick took her right hand, Shannon and Javi walked in front of them, and together, they walked into the building.

_**Thanks for reading, love you as always. All the reviews, favs and follows mean so much to me, you guys are the best. Please keep reviewing :-). Take care, hugs and loveballs, Z xxx**_


	28. Chapter 28

******_Here, finally, is the next chapter. I'm so sorry it took me so long! I had all the holiday things to do - but now I'm back at school, and back to writing like crazy, I hope. Wishing you ALL an awesomesauce 2013. I hope you still remember the story ;-) Thanks for reading, and please review. All your comments mean so much to me, and it's great to have such wonderful feedback from the best fandom in the 'verse! Love you loads, big hugs, Z xxx_**

**Kate felt as though she had been talking to the detective for hours. **She had asked Rick to leave. She didn't even want her mother in the room. She told the woman everything – she seemed nice. Fair. But Kate still wished that the ground would swallow her up.

When the detective was finished, she told Kate that she would be in touch with regards to the trial, because there was sure to be one. Kate nodded, and the detective went to speak to her mother. Rick came into the classroom where Kate was sitting.

"How are you holding up?" he said, knowing even as he asked it that it was a stupid question.

Kate smiled. "I've been better. What about you?"

Rick looked at the beautiful girl, who looked so fragile and wounded with all her cuts and bruises, and the expression of pain on her face.

"I'm fine. I want to kill him. But I'm fine."

Kate looked into his eyes. "There was nothing that you could have done. And I don't want you to think about him. But... Can I sleep in your room tonight?"

Rick nodded. "Sure. I can room with Ryan, if you want-"

Kate smiled again. He was such a gentleman. "No. I want you to stay with me. People said I wouldn't be able to trust men properly for years, maybe. But I don't see it that way. It was Tom, not men in general. I still trust you, Castle."

Rick managed not to show it, but inside he was sighing with relief. He put his arm around her and gave her a hug. He could feel how tense her shoulders were, and wished there was something he could do.

Jim appeared in the doorway. Rick caught Kate's eye and gave her a small smile, then left the room.

"Hey, Katie," he said slowly. He didn't really know what else he was going to say. He could tell to look at her that she was not okay, and he couldn't believe that anyone could have done this to his baby. He tried not to look too appalled at her appearance – after all, she would have to live with it. Kate saw her father struggling, and smiled to let him off the hook. Every father instinctively wants to protect his daughter, and feels responsible whenever he doesn't succeed in keeping her from harm. But Kate just needed her family to be there for her – she didn't want anyone she loved to feel guilty.

"I'm gonna be okay, Dad," she said to him. Jim turned to her – he hadn't met her eyes before – and his expression told her that he knew she was lying.

"You don't have to pretend, sweetie."

Kate bit her lip. "I hope that what I just said is true."

Jim swallowed, and did all he could to be brave for his daughter. He stayed to talk to her for a while, but was relieved when Johanna came in. Soon after, Kate insisted that they leave for their hotel – she assured them that she would be fine. Rick was there, and so was Mr Johnson. Rick promised to take care of her, and Shannon and Javi also said they would do anything they could to help.

The Becketts hated to drive away and leave their daughter, but they only went as far as a hotel in the next town. Johanna said she could work from there for a while if she went to collect some documents and her laptop the next day, and Jim was in a similar situation. Kate thought they should go to their home in London, but unless she would go with them, they wouldn't even consider the idea. And Kate refused to leave her friends – she had felt like she was in a wonderful place, and she wasn't going to let what one person had done to her destroy her future and relationships at St James'. She managed to sound incredibly cool and objective – as though she had thought everything through carefully, and fixed herself on the most sensible decision.

But when she was finally alone with Rick, resting on his bed as he sat on the chair beside her, she found that it took everything she had not to break down into hysterics. She bit her lip – it was her fall-back twitch when she was nervous or upset. She thought Rick might have noticed it – he had narrowed his eyebrows, and looked as if he was about to speak. Kate took a deep breath, and felt it shudder through her battered body. Her throat was still rasping a little, and she ached all over. Somehow, she did not expect sleep would come easily to her that night.

"You ready to take the mask off, Kate?" Rick said gently. Her suspicions had been correct – he saw right through her.

But she couldn't. For the last eighteen hours, she had been building up a wall around her heart, so that what Tom had done would not ruin her. If she broke the wall down now, she wouldn't be able to stop at just Rick. She tried to explain this to him, and he seemed to understand.

"What about letting me inside the wall with you?" he asked, taking her good hand and squeezing it softly.

Kate felt a single tear trickle down her cheek, the salty water stinging her damaged skin. With a feather light touch, Rick carefully wiped it away with his finger. Kate tried to smile at him, but her true emotions had other ideas. They took hold of her, and soon she was crying like a baby in his arms. He rocked her slowly, and stroked her hair. She tried to relax in his arms – it was a hopeless ambition, but at least she felt safe. At least he was here.

Rick listened to the quiet, dragging breaths of his once-sparkling girlfriend. How had this happened? A few days ago, he had comforted Kate after she'd woken up from a dream in which their whole world had come crashing down. But now he was afraid that her whole world was crashing down anyway, and this time, there was no way to wake her up – she was going to have to live through this nightmare, and he didn't even know if she would ever get beyond it.

He knew she was brave. He knew she was strong. He knew she wanted more than anything to go on with her life, to be the amazing person she had the potential to be. But he also knew that what had happened to Kate could destroy her mind – she might not ever be the same again.


	29. Chapter 29

_Sorry to have deserted you for so long! I have been writing other things and I wasn't quite sure where to go with this story. I hate to leave a thing unfinished, though. And I have had another idea about where to take this..._

_About A Month Later – the day that Tom is convicted._

Kate sat on the end of Rick's bed wearing the baggy hoodie and leggings that she always seemed to wear these days. She had worn them even when she testified. Her hair was wet, she had just taken a shower. Rick watched her, wondering what she would say. Her mother had been there earlier, and told them that Demming had been found guilty of attempted sexual assault. Shannon and Javi wanted to do something to celebrate; Kate couldn't bear the idea. She didn't know what she wanted to do though. So she was sitting in Rick's room, looking at the floor while he looked at her.

She hadn't let him touch her. Not that he'd tried. Her wrist was still in a cast, but it would be coming off soon. She had slept in his bed every night – she hadn't been able to face hers. He didn't even hold her. He had once, and she had woken up screaming. So they just lay side by side. He whispered stories to her, he tried to make her laugh. At least she was eating again.

"Are you happy?" Rick asked.

Kate looked up at him, fiddling with the edge of a blanket.

"I guess... Are you?"

Rick gritted his teeth. "I want to kill him."

Kate sighed. "Sometimes I want you to."

…

Kate winced as the nurse cut away the cast, flexing her fingers. Her bruises and scratches were all healed, she looked as good as new. Rick smiled at her and gave her a hug. Kate called it the A-frame – because he made sure they didn't touch at all. She thought about how he'd held her before, and shuddered. She wanted it to be different. She wanted to be able to say that she trusted him, she knew he wasn't Tom, she knew he loved her...

They walked outside to see Johanna in the waiting room.

"Freedom!" she said enthusiastically, but it was a weak mask for her really hollow tone.

"How's Dad?" Kate asked.

Johanna sighed. "Drunk."

"Shit," Kate said. She hadn't seen this coming. She wondered if it was her fault for being... not herself. But she wasn't herself. Rick took her hand and squeezed it. They got into Johanna's car and she drove them back to school. Kate put on the uniform, letting it drown her, adding nothing of her own. She had to get dressed in her room but she made Rick stay. He closed his eyes.

They went to class, trying to act like everything was normal. Everyone was kind, even Miss Wilson. It was a week until Christmas. The corridors were all decorated.

That evening they talked about what they were going to do for Christmas. Rick's mother wasn't around, he was going to be staying at school.

"Like in Harry Potter," Kate said, smiling. It didn't reach her eyes though. It never did.

"What about you?"

"My parents are living in an apartment in London. It has two bedrooms – so I can go there."

"You don't sound like you want to."

"I don't really mind. But Dad... He's not doing so well. And I know it's selfish, but I don't want to be around them. They treat me like I'm made of glass."

Rick frowned. "Do I?"

Kate laughed quietly. "No. You still talk to me. You make jokes. You make me do things."

Rick grinned. "I make you _eat_."

"You're going to make me _fat._"

Rick laughed. "I don't care. If you get fat, I'll get fat too."

"Hmm. Squishy," Kate said without thinking. Then she winced.

"Or I'll take you running," Rick said quickly. "You could start dancing again."

"I don't feel like dancing."

Rick got off the bed. "Come on."

"What?"

"I know how to make you dance."

"Rick, I..."

"No choice." He picked up his phone and speakers. "Put on your sports bra, baby, we're going to dance."

"We?"

"Remember when we danced in the rain?"

Kate bit her lip. "Yeah."

"Well. Come on."

"No sports bra."

"Fine." He took her hand and led her downstairs. They had to creep outside and back into the gym. Then Rick set up his phone. Kate had to laugh when she heard the familiar tune.

"The Scissor Sisters? Seriously?"

"I had to when you said that. And it's staying on repeat!"

Kate grinned, then ran across the room, feeling the music bounce through her. She suddenly had some energy... She jumped up and did a forward tuck, then twirled and skipped back to Rick. She moved her feet around and tried to show Rick how to do the same thing. He was better at tumbling than the dance stuff. Kate tried to teach him to pirouette – she could turn almost indefinitely.

As she spun round and round she felt the room drift away from her, going into a beautiful blur of plain colours that she could just ignore. She finally slowed and stopped, then lay down on the floor of the gym. The world was still spinning. Rick stood over her.

"Feel better?"

She smiled. "Thanks."

"Always." She sat up and he knelt down in front of her.

"I don't want to go home for Christmas," she said, "But I can't stay here – my parents wouldn't get it."

"Then... I could come home with you?"

Kate stared at him. "You would do that? You would hang out with my drunk father?"

"Kate, I would do anything for you. And I like your Mom, anyway."

"She likes you too. I'll ask her."

"We might have fun."

"Yeah... Can we go out on the bike?"

"What, now?"

Kate bit her lip and nodded.

"Sure. But you'll have to-"

"Rick, on that bike, I will cling to you like a limpet."

He laughed. "You'd better."

Kate smiled. They walked out to the garage; their helmets were on top of the bike. Rick handed Kate hers and she struggled with the strap. Without thinking, he fixed it for her. She held her breath as his fingers grazed her jaw – but he was so gentle, so... She liked it. Rick put on his own helmet and wheeled out the bike. Kate looked up at the stars.

"I wish we could just fly into the night sky..."

Rick smiled. "We can."

He got onto the bike and Kate got on behind him, locking her arms across his chest. She leaned her head on his back and watched the world zoom past, like when she'd been spinning in the gym, but better. Rick felt his heart rate quicken as he felt her hands on his chest, and forced himself to be calm. Was she getting better? He hardly dared hope for it... but maybe... Maybe she might... She would in the end. She was so strong.

He wound the bike along the country roads. Kate tipped her head back to look at the sky. The stars were so beautiful... She wished she could stop time, right here. With Rick in her arms, the stars around her, flying through the night...

…

They got off the bike to stretch their legs before going back to school. Kate looked at Rick.

"What if we didn't go back?"

"What?"

"What if we didn't go back?" she repeated.

"You mean that?"

Kate bit her lip. "I don't know. I... They're so nice, but I'm not... They want me to go back to normal. But that isn't going to happen. I'm just making everyone else miserable. Even you."

"But you don't want to leave me."

"No. I... I want to think it would hurt you more to leave than to stay."

Rick pulled her into a hug – a proper one. "You're damn right it would. Don't you dare leave me-"

"Not planning on it," she said, gently stepping away from him.

"Sorry," he said, embarrassed by the hug.

"Don't be. I want to like it just as much as you want me to. It's getting... less repulsive."

Rick laughed. "You really want to leave?"

Kate nodded.

"Then you're going to hate me for saying this but we have to do it for real."

"What?"

"We have to tell people. We have to pack things."

"But I don't want to think."

"We won't. But we have to think a little – for everyone else."

Kate bit her lip. "You're right. I can't believe I would have been so selfish."

"You wouldn't have. You're just a romantic – you want to run away into the night, tonight. But tomorrow night'll be just as good. Except we can bring your jacket so you won't be shivering."

Kate smiled. "Okay. You mean it?"

"If you still want to go, and no one stops us, yes."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Yes."

_**So - I hope you liked it. Please review! And I seem to be writing three things at once again... **_

_**Sorry for ignoring this for so long, but at least I know what's going to happen now!**_


	30. Chapter 30

**They got back to school before anyone realised they were missing, sneaking back to Rick's room. **Rick handed Kate a blanket and she wrapped it around her shoulders, sitting on the edge of his bed. He sat beside her.

"Can we really leave?" she asked quietly.

Rick put his arm around her. "Yes." He expected her to move away, like she always did, but instead she leaned into him.

"Do you want to go?"

"There's nowhere I'd rather be than with you. If you want to leave, so do I."

"But... what would you want us to do if-"

"It doesn't matter. There is no if. You have to get through this. And I will help you. So tomorrow we're going to call your parents and my mother, and then speak to Mr Johnson. And I know where I'm going to take you."

"You do?"

Rick held her more tightly. "I have an idea, at least."

Kate smiled. It was a weak smile, but it was still a smile.

"I'm so lucky to have you."

Rick held her even closer. "And I'm so lucky to have you."

Kate bit her a lip. She didn't believe him.

"I mean it," he said, seeing the look on her face. "Don't you trust me?"

Kate widened her eyes. "Of course I do. But you're being nice. I get it."

"I'm not. I mean, I hope I'm always nice to you. But I mean it. I _am _lucky to have you. I'm lucky you're safe, I'm lucky you're you, I'm lucky we met, I'm lucky you chose me, I'm lucky because you are going to be okay, and even if you're not, I..."

He trailed off. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he had since the day they met. But it was too soon. She nestled her head into his neck and brushed away the tears that were trickling down her cheeks.

"I hope we can go away somewhere. I hope I can be... I'll get better."

Rick looked at this broken little girl crying on his shoulder and had to remind himself that this was the same person who had danced in her underwear in the rain with him only a few months ago. But she was. He knew she was in there, and he would bring her out. He would make sure she could be herself again.

The next morning Kate put on her brave face and went down to breakfast. She managed to have a fairly normal conversation with Shannon and Javi. Jenny and Ryan were there too; everyone treated her as if she was made of glass. She wished they wouldn't, but she knew she would probably feel just as bad whatever they did. To make matters worse, Rick wasn't there. He was on the phone to her mother.

…

"Mrs Beckett?"

"Rick. You can call me Johanna, you know."

"Thanks. Ah, Johanna... I... It's hard to know exactly how to ask you this."

"Spit it out Rick. I doubt your news is any worse than anything else I hear about my daughter."

Rick paused. "Okay. Well, Kate and I want to go away. On holiday."

"For the Christmas break?"

"Yeah," Rick lied. Then he changed his mind. "Well, no. I mean, definitely for the Christmas vacation. But probably for longer."

Johanna sighed. She had been worried Kate wasn't coping with school, and she understood that the London apartment, as well as not feeling like home, contained her drunk father, who behaved as though he hated the sight of her.

"Where do you want to go?"

Rick made a face, and was glad Johanna couldn't see it. "On the bike. Across Europe. But we would go to London first."

"Won't that be expensive?"

"We'll get jobs when we want to stop in places. And the stop in London should help with that too – I have a meeting with a publisher."

"This sounds... Like something kids dream about but never actually do. Don't you think it's a little crazy?"

"It's completely crazy. And that is what she needs. Mrs Beckett-Johanna, I want to bring your daughter back. I love her, and I always will, but she's broken, and she can't stay here."

"She could stay with us, start a new school..."

"Do you really think that will work?"

Johanna didn't answer for a while. Then she spoke quietly. "Do you think this... trip, will work?"

"I don't know. But she needs to get out of here. And she asked me to take her. She wanted to just run away. I said I would ask the right people, do it properly."

"Thanks for that. But... I don't like the idea. I want to keep her with me, keep her close, keep her safe."

"But she wasn't safe when she was close to you."

"You're right. I... You'll look after her?"

"I'd give my life for her."

"I very much hope it does not come to that. Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes. But two conditions. You keep your phones working and charged, and you call us every week, at least."

"Right. And the other condition?"

"You both stay here while you're in London."

"It'll only be for a night, maybe two."

"Fine. We'll... We can give you some money."

"You don't have to-"

"We'll give it to Kate, then. When will you leave?"

"Uh... well we wanted to go today."

Johanna laughed. "Kids. Fine. I'll call Mr Johnson and make up Kate's room. I'll see you tonight. And on the bike..."

"She wears a helmet, it's really not that dangerous."

"Don't try to persuade me. I know how much she likes them. I think I actually hear her heart start thrumming when she sees a boy on a motorcycle."

"Not any more," Rick said sadly.

"Don't you dare give up," Johanna said to him.

"I won't. Even if... I'd still be hers, always."

"You're a good man, Rick. I'll see you tonight."

"Thank you."

Johanna sighed. "No problem."

Rick ended the call and went downstairs to the dining room. Kate had been watching the door like a hawk, waiting for him to come in. When she saw him she got straight out of her seat and walked towards him, a huge question in her eyes. He nodded. She folded herself into his arms, shaking with relief.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Everywhere," he said gently. She looked up at him. "I mean it," he said. "I'm going to show you the world, and how just beautiful it can be."

Kate ended up in the fitness suite while Rick packed for her; she hadn't wanted to go into her room. She wrapped her hands and began attacking the punch bag, feeling her wrist twinge as it was finally exercised again. She pummelled the bag with her fists, gritting her teeth as she hit it. When she was too tired to punish it any more she turned on the radio and put the volume high enough to make the whole room vibrate. She stood in the middle of the room, tapping her feet on the floor. She didn't feel like dancing, but even exhausted, her body wanted to dance. She gave in and pushed herself up on her toes, then began to turn, letting the room dissolve around her as she lost herself in the heavy beat.

She let her pirouettes slow down and started to move properly to the music, adding in flips and more complicated steps. She didn't notice Mr Johnson watching her; she was trying not to notice anything.

He cleared his throat and she jumped, then turned to face him.

"Sorry, I didn't see you," she said. Her voice wasn't weak or quiet; it was an almost perfect copy of how she had sounded before. Her eyes were blank but her face was a pretty mask of resolve and contentment.

"That's okay. I spoke to your mother."

Kate made an apologetic face. "I know it's sudden, and I really was beginning to like it here..."

"You don't have to explain. I just wanted to tell you not to worry about leaving, and to wish you all the best on your trip. I'm sure it will be amazing."

Kate smiled. "Thank you."

The teacher turned to leave. "No problem," he said as he left the room. No matter how many people told him he wasn't to blame, he couldn't help believing that he had failed the girl. Kate stood alone in the room, still listening to the music. Mr Johnson had not looked happy. The again, no one who saw her these days did. She sighed and began to hit her foot on the floor again.

She was still dancing when Rick came looking for her hours later. He watched her, smiling as she whirled around the room. Her long brown hair had come loose from its ponytail and flipped through the air, bouncing around. Watching her told Rick what he needed to know – she was still in there.

Kate saw Rick standing at the edge of the room. It was a strange room to dance in, full of fitness machines. There was no big floor space to stay on, so she was dodging in and out of the obstacles. She danced towards Rick; while she was dancing she felt stronger.

"We're packed," he said, taking her hands. "We have to go soon; your mother doesn't want us driving in the dark."

Kate nodded and let Rick pull her into a hug. Then she laughed.

"I stink," she said, looking down at herself. She was soaked in sweat; she _really _needed a shower.

"I think you smell great," Rick said honestly. Kate laughed more.

"I think my mother would disagree with you."

"Maybe she would," Rick said, tugging the elastic out of her hair. Kate pulled away, looking apologetic.

"Too much?" Rick asked. Kate bit her lip.

"A little. It's getting... I mean, I don't really understand it. I _know _you're not him, I know you would never hurt me. But it just feels-"

"You don't have to explain. I get it. I think. But, I mean... What I mean is, I'm happy to wait. Whatever you want is enough for me. Don't rush it."

Kate smiled. "You're so much better than I deserve."

"No I'm not. Now put your coat on. We're leaving," he said with a smile.

"I... I don't want to say goodbye. But I think we have to."

"I think you're right. They know we're going, they're waiting by the door."

"I have to shower."

"You can shower at your parents' place. Come on. I think it's time we got out of here."

Kate nodded. She'd been shut up in the fitness suite all day because she couldn't face being in the rest of the building any more. She picked up her water bottle and took a long drink, then followed Rick out of the room, remembering to hold her head high. She looked strong; maybe one day she would feel it too.

Rick had packed up everything. Most of their belongings were in large suitcases that their parents would collect another time; all they would take with them was in one large backpack, and some side bags that went on the Harley. Kate hugged everyone she was supposed to and said all the right things. The goodbyes took at least half an hour, but difficult as they were, Kate was glad she'd done it. Rick would have let her run away without speaking to anyone if she had told him that was what she needed – but this was better.

Everyone wished them good luck and told them that the trip would be amazing. Kate even felt herself getting quite excited. She loved riding Rick's motorcycle with him; she loved the idea of flying through the world with him.

Miss Wilson, strangely, was the last person she said goodbye to.

"All the best, Katherine."

Kate smiled. "Thanks. And to you to."

"You did well here. You would have been – you are – a great student. You'll do great things, Kate Beckett."

Kate managed not to roll her eyes.

"Don't give me that face," Miss Wilson tutted. "You will. And I should tell you, you're very lucky to have him at your back," she added, looking at Rick. Kate nodded.

"I know. And... Thank you."

"You've said that. You're welcome. Now off you go – see the world."

Kate smiled and took Rick's hand. He led her out of the door, picking up their bag and helmets. He handed Kate hers and she jammed it on her head, then swung on the backpack. Rick adjusted his helmet then climbed on the bike; Kate climbed on behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso. Rick started the engine and they roared away from St James' Academy, towards another new start.

* * *

A/N: After some tough deliberation, I have decided to call this the end. I just have so many fics on the go, and I'm tidying up my account. If you want to know what happens next, think For Lovers Only but with a happy ending! I really hope you enjoyed the story and check out my new stuff - Fixing the Mistake and Lady Beckett! I am really sorry to have led you on, I feel really bad but I hope you can forgive me. The next chapter is me letting everyone know that it's done. I love you all so much and I hope you enjoyed the story! xxx


	31. Chapter 31

_I have decided to end it there. What happens next - think FLO but with a happy ending! I hope you enjoyed the story and you'll forgive me so you can go and read my other fics. Thank you so much for reading this and still coming back for more. I am still writing like crazy but what with university and loads of other fics, as well as working on my 'furrealz' novel, I just don't have time to have so much on the go and I'd rather be honest and end it here._

_I love you!_

_Z_

_xxx_

_THE END_


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